On May 6, 2009 I wrote Part I about my making 7 of 10 foul shots--at my age no less! After I thought about it I realized that is 70%. Not quite bragging rights in school, but definitely so in the school yard or at the Y.
What that tells us is that how we evaluate our success or lack thereof is complicated. Much depends on the situation and the specifics. If an otherwise A/B student gets a 7 out of 10 in geometry that says s/he sucks in math and is definitely not slated for an accounting, engineering or physics major. It does not say that s/he sucks as a student or as a person. Thank goodeness for that as I had an allergy to math that persists to this day.
Yet, too often we judge ourselves in that harsh and self-critical tone. Many, especially those people whose self-esteem is low, do not give themseleves the benefit of the doubt. Instead they doubt and diss themseveles every step of the way.
Perfectionistic and unrealistic expectations create a sense of inferiority,despite the person deserving to feel adequate and more so. Unfortunately, in most cases,bruises and their scars left in childhood linger long after they are relevant. Most of the time they were inaccurate to begin with, but inflicted by those in powerful positions-- parents, teachers, coaches... We bought their bull!
Tune in tomorrow for a helpful way out of this trap.
Bye For Now,
Bill
williampenzerphd.com
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