HOOKED ON HAPPY: PART XII

I think I may be getting too hooked on happy so this may be the last blog on this subject for now. If I were giving it a title I would call it, "Pardon Me!".

For happiness and positivism to be part of your world on a regular basis you need to forgive yourself for whatever you may have done in the past that was and remains guiltifying. Most people mess up. Pat Conroy says, "Being an asshole is only another phrase for the human condition." (South of Broad, p.363.)

So, assuming no one but you got hurt, now is the time to forgive yourself and let go of old guilts that can embrace you like a worn quilt. We hopefully learned from our dumb mistakes. That is the really important part.

Now is the time to give it up for the good of your cause. Really terrible people receive pardons. The liklihood is you deserve one too. Grant it for yourself right now!!

Bye For Now,

Bill

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

Tonight begins the holiest period in the Jewish Religion that celebrates the New Year. Commemorates is probably a better term as it is not a celebration akin to New Years eve. In fact, Yom Kippur-the day of atonement-is a fast of 24 hours and for those who are religious and even some that typically are not, an all day temple service. People are supposed to go to water to cast away their sins of the previous year. Fortunately for me I have nothing to cast away.

What is interesting is the similarities between religions. All deal with good and evil issues and ways to be forgiven for the bad and encouraged toward the light of the good. From early on--Adam and Eve time-- until right this moment the battle for people to behave positively has raged on unabated. This is why the Dalai Lama in yesterday's blog encouraged us to distinquish ourselves from animals.

My simple minded formula on this subject is that we all have within us a "pride bank" and a "shame and blame account." The goal of healthy, happy, comfortable living is to fill the former and prevent entries into the latter. Not complicated,but not always easy,but doable.

I wish everyone, whatever your religious affiliation, health, peace of mind and a year filled with pride bank deposits every day.

Bye For Now,

Bill


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EMOTIONAL FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Continuing the theme of this week's blogs the Dalai Lama said


Common sense shows that human life is short-lived
and that it is best to make of our brief soujourn
on this earth something that is useful to oneself and others.

Let's use our human intelligence wisely. Otherwise,how are we
superior to animals.

Satisfaction is characterized by inner peace.It arises from
generosity,honesty and what I call ethical conduct,that is,
a way of behaving that respects the right of others to
happiness.

By For Now,


Bill

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SHOWING UP

On Monday I spoke about my simple life formula where Showing Up was step one. That is not an original thought. I believe it was Woody Allen who said, "80% of success is showing up." I recently scanned a book written by Bill Gates' father called Showing Up For Life. It is a good, quick, simple, downhome read.

At the end he quotes a letter from a friend who was dying that is worth repeating here.

Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually
through experience and not scientific research
that we discover its deeper lessons. We are all
here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and
learn to love. We can do this through losing as
well as through winning,by having and by not having,
by succeeding or by failing. All we need to do is
to show up openhearted for class...So fulfilling
life's purpose may depend more on how we play than
what we are dealt. You have to be present to win.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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Blog is Moving

As of today cope with the economy blog has moved to www.mindlymatters.com. Please continue to follow us at our new name and address.

www.MindlyMatters.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF ARRIVING

We who have arrived in this world are among the blessed.When you think about it the odds of any of us actually being born are lotto like--actually power ball lotto like. Though we may have some hard times when we wish we were never born,the reality is we were all given the gift of experiencing personhood and the joys and sorrows of living.

Being born is really an opportunity to be and to grow--to give and to receive.

It is important that we use our opportunities wisely and protect ourselves from imploding. Learning lessons from our life experiences and not falling into addictive traps of one form or another are critically important.

We arrive and if we live long enough leave in a helpless and weakened state of mind and body. What we do with our time in between is what counts.

I hope, despite these difficult times, you can rise to the challenge by loving, achieving, enjoying and finding peace of mind. Best as I can tell those are the important signposts on our journey.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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A SIMPLE FORMULA

WELCOME TO MY BLOG--NOW CALLED MINDLY MATTERS,FORMALLY KNOWN AS COPE WITH THE ECONOMY.COM.

I was recently talking to a young person whose engine seemed to be stuck in neutral.

I said, success in life is not complicated,but it demands effort and discipline. Whether it be school, work, a significant relationship, playing a sport or taking up a hobby it demands:


SHOWING UP
TAKING ACTION
TRYING YOUR VERY BEST

I guarantee that this formula will work for you and think that it probably has many times in your life. So if your tank is empty and your motor not moving you forward, try these steps and you will be on your way again.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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IT'S THE ECONOMY..STUPID!

This famous rallying cry by Bill Clinton is still relevant. Even though I am switching to mindlymatters.com I still reserve the right to speak of issues financial.

As you may recall I started this blog searching for realistic optomism in our efforts to cope with the economy.

Let me be clear. Reality suggests we are a long way from being over with what came as close to a '29 depression as we have seen. Optomism suggests there is a spike in people's confidence based on some indicators, including the stock market and the governments support of significant institutions.

We aren't as paniced as we were. Many are reporting improved sales though quite a few are still struggling. Confidence and optomism are positive and need to continue.

Let us not forget those unemployed, those who have had to walk away from homes, those who have no medical insurance and who can't afford their prescriptions,let alone doctor copays. Too many people are struggling badly for us to assume all is well and the worst is over. The stock market may look forward (and sometimes is wrong), but we must look at the reality of the now and be careful not to repeat the mistakes we have made. Cautious, conservative optomism still seems the best strategy. The celebrations may be a ways off. Let us never forget those who have or are suffering. Especially today!


Bye For Now,

Bill

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changing to mindlymatters.com on 9/14

THIS IS ABOUT LIFE, NOT THE BEATLES!

There was a program on TV tonight about the Beatles.

What struck me beyond their music was their success. They began as youngsters with a dream. They ended up becoming everyone's dream.

Their iconic status can be an inspiration for us all. Clearly, they were talented,maybe even creative geniuses in the music field. But it all came together for them at the right time in the right way. I remember seeing them for the first time on the Ed Sullivan Show. They were instantly loveable and Paul was,admittedly adorable--probably still seen that way among the older set.

The really cool thing about life is that tomorrow or next month or year may be your "Beatles" bustout. Don't stop. NEVER GIVE UP! Keep on truckin. We never know who's turn is next. So many of their hits fit right here. You fill in the blank__________. How about, "Get Back to Where You Once Belonged?" I chose it because it is playing right now. It applies to many who have sufferred serious hardship as a result of the economy.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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becoming Mindly Matters.com on 9/14/09

WHERE IS....?

Almost all parents sang "where is thumbkin?" to their kids on a regular basis.

Clearly, given the popularity of texting, we were unwittingly giving them directions for a whole new world order. Who knew? Thumb away kiddies! Thumbs up!

Bye For Now

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MINDLY MATTERS

The prettiest part of our beautiful mind is its ability to change course midstream.

So after being bombarded by emails that basically say, "WTF does your blog have to do with coping with economic issues,I am am finally changing. Despite explaining myself more than once, I give! UNCLE!

As of next Monday, the name of my blog will be the name of a column I wrote years ago for a local newspapaer--MINDLY MATTERS.

You can still reach here via copewiththeeconomy.com but the new title is more relevant. Thanks to those of you who kept pushing me in this direction.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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ANGER MANAGEMENT:PART II

Many years ago I was trying to help a man with his anger issues. They revolved mostly around his road rage. All of our talk and my rational appeals seemed to fall on hard of hearing ears. Actually, he heard me loud and clear,but his behavior remained unchanged. He would do the usual stuff--chase after those who cut him off, curse and scream at offending drivers and even a few "put up your dukes" scenes. You don't want to know what he said about older drivers. Good I was young then.

Sometimes life offers built in cures aka serendipity. One day he was at the airport waiting for a parking spot,signal blinking. The car pulled out and a pick up truck pulled around the corner and right into the spot totally ignoring my guy. He jumped out of his car with red faced rage, righteous indignation and explicatives flying.

The guy in the pick up calmly pointed a 357 Magnum in my guy's face and said, "Do you really want to have this fight? "No sir," my guy politely said as he backed away and drove off as fast as possible. He was cured on the spot. He came in and told me the story and never returned to road rage or my office. I would like to think that our talks seeded his awakening as the gun certainly validated my appeals.

The moral of the story is as I said yesterday, "So better not to know them and just pass on by."

Bye For Now,

Bill

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ANGER MANAGMENT: PART I

Someone recently told me that someone told him about these simple words when feeling enraged by bad drivers, rude people, those who are selfish,inconsiderate and greedy:


IF THEY KNEW BETTER...
THEY WOULD DO BETTER!

I have added: SO BETTER NOT TO KNOW THEM
AND JUST PASS ON BY.

Sometimes the simplest thoughts can be the most powerful.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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A MEATY MATTER!

In 1982 I went to West Africa for a ten day adventure studying alternative medicine,healers,herbalists and the like. It was quite amazing in all respects. When I returned I had completely lost my taste for meat. Prior to the trip I ate all forms regularly. As soon as it ended the thought of a steak, hamburger,veal chop or lamb was enough to make me lose my appetite. I was like a pregnant woman. I have been like that ever since.

I never knew why it happened. This was not animal country and I am not an animal activist, nor a vegan. I didn't have a bad experience on the trip with meat,though we ate mostly fish as we were on the coast. I simply assumed a voodoo priest did it to save my heart.

Paradoxically, I could, on rare occasion, have a piece of bacon, salami or hot dog,but generally speaking I would only eat fish or chicken. Until yesterday. Last week out in California I had lunch with the man who led the African trip. For reasons unknown, later that day I had the thought that not eating meat was just a state of mind over meaty matter. Ever the student of behavioral change I tucked the idea away for future consideration.

Last night my wife ordered a Char Hut burger, while I ordered a grilled tuna salad. However, when my wife walked away from the table I was seized by a compulsive feeling and immediately took a bite of her burger. When she returned to the table she kiddingly inquired as to whether I took any of her fries. I said, "No, but I had a bite of your burger." She said, "No you didn't." I said, "Yes I did" and proceeded to take another bite and then told her about my thoughts in California.

I cant say that I loved it and am jonesing for another, but I didn't get sick or nauseated either. Actually, it tasted alot like chicken!

Maybe, I'm not pregnant anymore? Maybe,the voodoo priest who put the "hold the meat" spell, took it off for good behavior over 27 years? Or maybe,just maybe, it was all in my mind to begin with. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Ruff Ruff--keep your mind open to change. It can happen anytime, even after years of doing something a certain way. Just ask any person who used to smoke,drug,gamble,etc. They will be quick to say, you can change your ways if you want to or if forces just combine to make that happen as was the case in my case. That is why I always say, NEVER,NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Maybe,next she orders a steak I will give it a try. Becha it tastes alot like chicken--everything does you know!

Bye For Now,

Bill

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RISKY BUSINESS!

Clearly, I have been put on the,"Desperate for Cash" list. Last week, and I kid you not, I received nine emails wanting to share millions of dollars with me. Yusef Ahmed wants to give me 40% of 10.5 million--a transaction which is "100% risky free".

Mr Phil Herald credited my email address with $891,934.00 and Michael Smith told me in confidence that I have 1,000,000.00 GBP from the MONDAY GROUP. I must, "confirm this receipt by replying the due process unit officer."

Now folks, the first thing I want to say is that if you want to scam me you really need to know English.As soon as I see those misspellings and gramatical goulosh I am onto you like butter on bread. All the Bank of America look alike emails that say there is a problem with your account so provide us with the following info so we can fix it are easy to spot because of their mistakes. Also, if you want me to bite on a million,you need to tell me whether GBP is a Great Britain Pound or a Grab Bag of Piss! Also guys, no more "risky free" nonsense. If I am going to get a bundle of money I need to know that the risk is there or else how can I believe you're really going to pony up. Finally, you need to provide a reason you want to share this huge sum with me. I might just bite if you told me that "I want to share this with you and you alone Dr. Penzer, as a reward for your brilliance ( but you gotta spell it correctly!). "Handsome and brilliant" and I'm all in baby!

On a more serious note beware of scammers. As the internet becomes more advanced they will multiply and become even more creative. The scarry thing is that obviously people do get sucked into these seemingly ridiculous offers, for if they didn't I wouldn't be receiving so many emails all dealing with the same thing.

By the way, please take me off the "Desperate for Cash" list. It is true that my practice is a little bit slow this summer, but as my grandma would say, "I am fortunate. I have what to eat!"


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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ODD IS IN!

Have you noticed that,oddly enough, oddness has developed a certain popularity of late? Think about many of the TV shows that feature a peculiar main character who solves mysteries, medical or legal problems despite or because of his or her "indiosyncrazies".

Also, note the popularity of shows that focus on people's problems such as addiction, OCD and even hoarding. I am sure "Solving Sexual Dysfunctions" is on the drawing boards as I write--to be sponsored by...what else--Viagra! Even some commercials are getting wierd and hard to understand. Must be some subliminal message I am missing,but when I say what was that about you know they are not selling me.

Then there are the wierd and seemingly wacky, but ever popular web sites. Ben Huh owns 20 odd websites--some very odd-- which Time Magazine describes as "..spellbindingly inane blogs..". One is called I Can Has Cheezburger? where people subnit pictures of cats with captions in "kitty pidgin" or misspelled imaginings of cat's inner monologues. Before you LOL know that he has made a seven figure profit on that one alone. His others all seem to have to do with things that went wrong or were dumb. This includes people posting photos that were spoiled by other people inadvertently walking in on them. The question becomes were the pictures true failures or staged for the site so they could be successful failures? Is it even possible to have a sucessful failure? I think Mr. Huh has proven that to be very possible.

The good thing about this trend is that as the "abnormal" becomes more normalized,commonplace and even useful, we can feel better about ourselves and our personal quirkinesses. Similarly, as failing is promoted and laughed at, we can stop the perfectionistic strivings and chuckle at ourselves in the midst of a failure. In so doing, we are having and enjoying a sucessful failure which is undeniably better than an unsucessful one.

I can't tell you how much better I feel. I hope you do too! Odd, isn't it?

Bye For Now,

Bill

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TO BE FAIR

From: It's Never too Late...


To Be Fair

We can kid ourselves.
We can justify our actions.
We can deny responsibility.
But in the quietness of our heart.
We know the truth.

Your inner voice will tell you.
Be fair.
It's all about karma.
If you're fair to others....
...things will balance out in the end.

by Patrick Lindsay


Bye For Now,

Bill

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WISE WORDS

From the Dalai Lama:

Let's use our human intelligence wisely. Otherwise,how are we superior to animals?

Common sense shows that our human life is short-lived and that it is best to make our brief sojourn on this Earth something that is useful to oneself and others.

I think human beings are the superior sentient beings on this planet. Humans have the potential not only to create happy lives for themselves,but also to help other beings. We have a natural creative ability and it it very important to realize this.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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GO PARKLAND

That city is trying to pass a law that forbids texting while driving. In New York State no cell phone use is allowed without an ear piece.

The results of the research are undeniable. Use of phones while driving is equal to driving drunk. Isn't it time we shut it all down for our own protection?

Remember that not that long ago there was no such thing as a cell phone/texting, etc and we all survived just fine. My best guess is that less than 5% of the calls and texts are urgent and that 80+% are trivial to irrelevant.

Lets be rational and safe and outlaw phone use abuse. Your kids life may be at stake!

Bye For Now,

Bill

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EXERCISE

A recent Time Magazine feature story says that exercise does not facilitate weight loss. The basic problem is exercise makes us hungry so we eat more after to reward ourself.

It does say exercise helps with cognitive functioning and overall health goals. Those who exercise are less likely to have serious medical or mental problems. Sad to say this is not always true, but there are 30-40% statistical advantages.

However, though the pain of exersise doesn't feel good, the post high feels great.For that alone I reccommend it wholeheartedly and practice it religously.

Just don't go to Dunkin Donuts after. There are many low calorie options that feed the beast within, without feeding the belly.

Moreover, the "stress management" component of exercise is undeniable. This is most important during these most challenging times.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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OUR LESS THAN PERSONAL WORLD: PART IV

So I have to the conclusion that it is up to us to cut through the impersonal and continue to reach out in more personal ways.

It is up to us to stop checking the emails, voice mails, tweets, texts,etc and just shut down our "connectedness" to pursue our connectedness.

Let's view the net as a springboard for personal interactions rather than an efficent way to avoid them. Efficientcy has its place. So does warmth, a genuine smile and a face to face meeting. Text "I love you" all you want. Say it in person twice as often.

Bye For Now,


Bill

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TO START AGAIN

It's never to late to:

START AGAIN

Look at nature.
Nothing stays the same.
Why should you?
Use change wisely.
Like a sporting champion,change a losing game.
Keep the things that matter.
Lose the things that don't.
Set some goals.
Start afresh.


From "It's Never Too Late..." by patrick lindsay

Bye For Now,

Bill


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OUR LESS THAN PERSONAL WORLD: PART III

After rereading the previous blog on this topic, I wondered if human interaction and face to face contact are necessary and if so why. I know speaking personally that when I have been by myself, 24/7 I have been less than happy. Having others around and interacting with them seems to fill a primary human need. Lonliness is a major cause of depression.

Think about the fact that isolation and solitary confinement are punishments for prisoners. Babies left unattended in orphanages suffer serious damage to their psyches. For most, continuous solitude can cause a decompensation that threatens the minds ability to remain stable. It seems a most natural behavior to seek out others for contact and communication ( except for some in the park in which I walk!).

But here is an interesting twist to the tale. Many find old friends on Face Book,My Space or whatever and then meet up with them in person. These reunions would not likely have happened if not facilitated by the internet. So, sometimes the impersonal leads to personal. That is a very healthy and positive outcome. I hope you enjoy that experience.

Bye For Now,


Bill

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BEYOND BELIEF!

If ever you doubt our economy or our country go directly to a Bed, Bath and Beyond store. Wander the aisles. You don't have to buy anything although you will be tempted. Let your eyes look from bottom to top or vice versa at all the amazing stuff available to you--all at reasonable prices.

Nowhere in the world can one find such diversity of available products at your finger tips. There is something to be said for a "brick and mortar" store. BB&B is a symbol of our strength.

Perhaps we have made a few missteps. Undeniably, greed temporarily replaced reason and rationality. At its weakest, America is the strongest country in the world. Don't believe me? Just go to BB&B, The Apple Store, Macys and a host of others that reflect our muscle.

It may take longer than we like,but America will find its way back to economic stability and growth. Mark my words. At that time the shelves of BB&B will be fuller than ever.

Bye For Now,


Bill

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NEGOTIATE

I have read many articles that say we are in times in which anything and everything is negotiable. They say that even in department stores one has haggle possibilities.

I have never been comfortable in that mode. I imagine many of you are not either. However, I think now more than ever we need to try. Worst they can say is no.

Who said this blog is not about the economy? Go for the best price you can get. Let me know when you succeed.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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OUR LESS THAN PERSONAL WORLD:PART II

I hope you enjoyed some "face time" with other people this weekend.

Certainly, the world of work has been dramatically affected by the internet. In the old days, resumes were hand carried or mailed whereas now thay are emailed. There was always a letter responding to a resume even if it was a polite, "not suited to the job..." reply. Interviews were always face to face whereas now the first few are by phone for reasons I don't fully understand since the interviewer time is the same whether it is a phone or in person visit.

Training and orientation were always classroom based, whereas now the internet and DVD's dominate. In addition, computer literacy was not a prerequisite for any job whereas now it is hard to think of one where that is not required. Communications were in the form of memos, phone contacts and meetings whereas now the internet and intranet dominate. Finally, presentations were handlettered on "flip charts" and done face to face, whereas now there is Power Point and the possibility of cyber meetings--some with video conferencing-- engaging people who can literally be sitting all over the world.

From an efficiency point of view it is all a many splendid thing. From a humanistic point of view it all seems to lose something as we go from face to face to seclusion. Just ask anyone who works from home in their boxers or nighgown. It can be the best of worlds as well as the worst. The lesson we learn is that for everything positive there is a cost and a consequence. That is the ying and yang of our lives. The question that remains is how far will all this go and how remote and secluded will people feel in the year 2025 and beyond? I guess by then there will be virtual therapists readily available to salve your wounded minds in a matter of minutes.

More on this tommorow.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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OUR LESS THAN PERSONAL WORLD: PART I

Thinking about my park experiences last week let me to focus on how different our world is from the one in which I grew up. The 50' thru the 80's were highly personal and people based. Interaction dominated our culture in every way. Person to person contact was essential.

The virtual society that has been created lessens those contacts in almost every way. Richard Corliss, Time Magazine movie reviewer, speaking about Netflix,but quickly generalizing to our world recently said, " ....the lack of human interaction is the big problem with Netflix and its ciber-ilk. Thanks to the internet,we can now do nearly everything--working, shopping,movie-going,social networking,having sex--on one machine at home. We're becoming a society of shut-ins. We deprive ourselves of exercise...And we deny ourselves the random epiphanies of human contact." (8/10/09 p. 63)

As you travel through your weekend observe your social patterns. As you text and twitter away or check your face book postings or email enjoy all the efficient benefits and mourn all the lost human to human contact, so important to nourishing our psyches and our souls.

More on this subject next week.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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A WALK IN THE PARK: PART VIII

So I followed my own advice from yesterdays blog. I said hello to everyone who walked by me who didn't look as far away from me as possible. I termed those folks, "elevator rider walkers".

The responses from the rest of the people varied. There are "grunters", "head noders","thumbs uppers" and "groaners." There are also a minority who say, "Good Morning" or "Hello/Hi".

The winner was a tall African American man who said hello to me first. When I said, "Hi, How are you today?" he said, "Doing Great Thank you. How are you doing?" He must be from Georgia or California(if you don't get that you didn't read yesterdays blog).

The cool thing was that nomatter what the response I felt good trying to reach out and be friendly. I chose not to take nonresponses personally. There is definitely something to be said for trying to be a little friendlier in our standoffish community.

Try it and you might just like it and the responses you receive. Spread the work, "HELLO" and pass it on. Who knows what might come of it? We might start a whole new trend! F'in A right! (if you don't get that you didn't read Tuesdays blog). Get with the program people. HELLO!

Bye For Now,

Bill

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A WALK IN THE PARK: PART VII

Not all walks in the park are the same. Not all parks are the same. The one thing that is strange in my park here is that few people passing by the other way say hello, good morning or any other greeting. I told you yesterday what the basketballers were saying, but they weren't talking to me.

When I first starting walking there many years ago, I would say good morning or hello or something. I stopped when I noticed it made others feel uncomfortable. A small proportion responded, but many just walked on by. I started to feel as if I was viewed as a pervert for just saying good morning. Now I wait to see if the passer-by looks my way and says anything. If they do I respond. If not, I just walk on by. I guess that is how "pass on byers" are born.

This is a sad commentary on South Floridians. I don't know why we are so unfriendly,but this phenonmena is undeniable in a variety of settings.

It doesn't happen when I walk in the park in Georgia or California. Total strangers say, "Good Morning, Beautify Day, Have a Good Walk, Great Day to be Outside," etc. Sometimes, one person says all that.

We could take a lesson from their playbook. In fact, I will.I hope you have a great day. Try saying hello to a stranger and see if you can start a social virus of friendly interaction. I will do the same today and report back. Let me know what happens as well.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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A WALK IN THE PARK: VI

I walked in the park Saturday morning. I passed by a group that had just finished playing basketball on a hot morning. They were sitting around shooting the shit instead of a ball. They were all thirty something by appearance and were represented by African Americans, Hispanic Americans and Caucasion Americans.

Every third word was "Fuckin". It is just amazing how many words ahead of which that word works! It may actually work in front of every noun(i.e.,shirt,shot,shit,sweat...). Well, you get the idea. As there were no young ones around,it was all harmless banter. To my ears it sounded a bit adolescent,but hey maybe I'm just an old fart!

The funny thing is that very afternoon I read about a research study in England where they found that explicatives and especially the F word helps people cope with pain better. They also found that it helped women more than men. The explanataion for that was hypothesized to be that men use the word in everyday circles much more than women and thereby desensitize its pain relieving effects.

Tell you what. You tell the basketball guys at the park!


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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OXICLEAN vs. OXYCODONE

I was really schocked to learn that cocaine and pain pills were found in the autopsy of Billy Mays. Clearly, the liklihood is that these contributed to the heart attack he had at a relatively young age.

Though not much surprises me anymore, I believe I reacted that way because of his squeaky clean, down home, American pie image. It was that very Mr. Congeniality cool along with his loud, strong and enthused voice that sold a variety of products in several different, but market related ways. He so sold me on his image that I would have never guessed he abused drugs. You just never know.

Here is a man who had everything to live for, but left it all for what appear to be glopful addictions. Pain,no doubt contributed as it always does, but you don't do coke for pain. And, there are a variety of pain management tools other than pills. Our Tranquility/Pain Management Center offers many alternatives as do a host of available programs.

Denial keeps the glop flowing in all of us. We all believe it won't happen to us.Believe me when I say if it happened to Billy, it can happen to anyone. Let the user beware and get help before it takes you down. Addiction is a powerful and progressive disease. Oxiclean-up your act if you are doing Oxycodone or the equivilent,before you end up,like him, in the dirt!

I feel really sad for this family.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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WHEN I WAS IN SIXTH GRADE..........

We sang a song--a round--which went:

Make New Friends
But Keep the Old
One is Silver
And the Other Gold.

Lately, I have pursued reunions with old friends and colleagues. It feels good on many levels. Though I am not yet that technologically advanced, it is easier than ever with Face Book, etc.

So here is a quote from "It's Never Too Late," by Patrick Lindsay:

It's never too late --
To find old friends
They're like gems.
Links to our past.
Anchors in a storm.
They bring solidity.
A chance for reflection.
A link in our life chain.
A continuum.


Think about it.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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I DON''T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO SAY--HELP!

I never approached my blog without an idea in mind. I decided to live dangerously,shoot from the hip and see what happens. OMG it feels so out of control!!!

But I have changed alot in the last two years. It has been a concerted effort to not be robotized by my habits. I have worked to build choices into my life instead of routines. I have come to believe that it is important that we have multiple choices for significant behaviors and "all of the above" is not acceptable.

I encourage you to be a self-observer and see where and when you just fall into habituated behaviors that aren't healthy or self-enhancing. Then I would ask you to challenge yourself to try to do it differently and move toward healthier choices. It won't come easy or natural. If you stay with it it eventually will.

There is much reward to modifying, especially when we replace reflex, knee jerk,jerky behavior with that which is pride worthy. Try it. You might just like it.
I know I do. The payoff is in the altered pudding. Relinquishing control to gain control is a worthwhile effort--most especially when we move ourselves from dangerous to safer space.

Bye For Now,

Bill


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WHEN A WALK IN THE PARK MEETS PERSEVERANCE

OK. So this is the last in the perseverance series-- at least for a while. As you know, I view it as a character trait up there with integrity, loyalty and honor.
Then again there is a fine line between persisting with perseverance and being pesty about it!

Sunday morning I decided to walk in the park. By 3/4 around the first time it was blisteringly hot--90+ according to my car thermometer at 10:30AM. It felt as if I was walking through a long, oval pizza oven.

The sweat had formed several layers on my skin. I could have shaved without cream. My shirt looked as if someone sprayed me with water. Someone could have water skied on my brow. I was dripping perspiration in pores that hadn't opened in years.

Much of my mind said, "Give it up! Go back to your car and have a cold drink and then head home." The more stubborn/persistent part of me prevailed. "Look at the guys playing soccer or even full court basketball. Look at the guys playing baseball in their jerseys and heavy wool sleeves," it said. That part of me pushed me to continue. Of course, that part of my mind forgot they were half or less my age.

Continue I did. That's perseverance!

Whether it is in the park or in other areas of your life I encourage you to keep pushing yourself to rise to the challenge and continue. I survived. The liklihood is you will too. It feels so good when we do. GO GALS, GO GUYS!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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PERSEVERANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Nowhere is perseverance more critical than when it comes to relationships. It is so easy for things to go off track,wear down and implode. I speak here about family/collegial relationships and partnerships.

The strange and intriquing thing is that when it comes to work people have almost a natural tendency to persevere. We manage to overcome boredom,awful bossy bosses,inequities,annoying coworkers and difficult environmental conditions. Our persevering mindset allows us to overcome no matter what.

When it comes to relationships we have evolved into a disposable society.It doesn't feel good so I shall move on, stop talking, divorce, etc. Certainly there are some situations where that is most appropriate. Many times, however, there are more immediate and positive remedies and choices.

Having a relationship with anyone is not so easy for more than a weekend. Often it takes perseverance and patience to sustain a meaningful interaction. I encourage you to see it like that and not be too quick to sever all ties and abandon ship. Try your hardest to stay with the RELATION SHIP and help navigate it to calmer waters. Seek professional help sooner than later.

Bail if you have to, but try your best to find ways to accomodate and accept a less than perfect situation. When it comes to human interaction there is rarely a perfect situation. And according to some, we all pick partners who are least able to fulfill us in our most important need areas. Therein lies a street called compromise and an avenue called accomodation. Persevere when you can. There is something to be said for longevity. That comes from a man married 45+ years. It isn't always easy, but it is usually worth it. Perseverance pays!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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PERSEVERANCE AND THE PROVERBIAL DIET

A recent article said that the average American is 23 pounds overweight. Truth be told I am painfully "average". Last week I made a committment to lose 25 pounds over the next 4-6 months. Historically, once I adopt that mindset I usually succeed. I can become just as "addicted" to healthy as to unhealthy. Unhealthy is just much more fun!

Anyone who has ever tried to move the numbers on the scale back a few notches knows that perseverance is key. It is, oh so easy, to start a diet on Monday (never on Friday night) and leave it by Tuesday or Wednesday. Yet, as we have discussed in other areas, perseverance pays dividends when it comes to losing weight and getting back in shape.

From a physical and mental health point of view, the rewards are multiple. Last I went on a regimen, the tee shirt I wore said, NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS! My hope and desire is to wear that again and go from Large to Medium. I encourage you to join me by persevering in this pursuit.

Average is something I never aspired to be. I'm sure the same is true for you!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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KINDA SUMS IT UP

I'm grateful for all my problems. As each of them was overcome,
I became stronger and more able to meet those yet to come. I
grew on my difficulties.

J.C. Penney


The above "penny" for your thoughts observation seems to neatly sum up the issue of perseverance. We`are all faced with problems aka challenges in today's lexicon. Our real challenge is to persevere and persist with patience until we have successfully resolved the issue.

Most importantly, it never hurts to try. It never hurts to ask, question or present your point of view--sometimes more than once. Even if you fail to accomplish your goal, at least you have the satisfaction of having tried and pursued all possibilities. That, in itself, is "winning" no matter the outcome. That alone is a prideful result!


Bye For Now,

Bill


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THE EVOLUTION OF PERSEVERANCE

That which we pursue changes over time. I clearly remember persevering with my spelling lists in elementary school as well as my multiplication tables. Truth be known I never persevered when it came to geography or geometry. As for penmanship- faggetaboutit! Sometimes perseverance can be selective. As we get older the less we can afford those degrees of freedom.

Clearly, that which we pursue with vigor and persistence changes as we go along. It is amazing how fast we go from our spelling lists to our kids to our grand kids. School, which can feel so daunting as we go, can feel like life-lite as we look over our shoulder and compare it to our adult responsibilities.

Yet, I believe there is a common theme. The origins are laid down early in our lives, but keep coming at us in one form or another. Our goals are to survive in a prideful way, trying to accomplish enough to sustain ourselves. Survival of the fittest applies as much to spelling tests as to work demands as to family/relationship demands. Life hurls obstacles at us and the old game of dodge ball keeps us on our toes. The balls keep changing, but avoiding getting hit remains the goal.

Even as older people we need to persevere or we won't become even older.Just ask my Mom. She is 98+ and has been persevering all her life. Her claim to fame is that she bounces back. That's perseverance in action. Take a lesson from her playbook. NEVER, NEVER NEVER GIVE UP--No Matter what! She would say, "Go slow,but go slowly forward."

Bye For Now,

Bill

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PERSEVERANCE AND PSYCHOTHERAPY

One of the many areas of our lives that requires perseverance is that which deals with counseling and psychotherapy. Much as we would like it to be a "quick and clean" process of modification and change, the truth is that it goes painfully slow.

It goes much quicker today than when I first went through it in the 70's. My anxiety and panic took 4+ years of 3 times a week psychoanalysis to yield. Today we can typically name that tune in once weekly therapy over a 6-9 month course. That math I call progress.

Yet, in today's "fast paced" world that math can still seem painfully slow. I recently commented about how slow an extra couple of seconds on our computers can feel. Can you imagine 6+ months of talk, talk, talk and not much action? No wonder so many people drop out in utter frustration. Yet, when they do,they do themselves an injustice. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Effort usually does! That requires perseverance.

There is no magic in my office, nor in my colleague's. Those that promise that are typically more self-serving than not.If it worked "magically" we would all be practicing that special technique.

Truth be known, like life, therapy is a process. Each meeting silently builds on the previous until it pushes a person away from the edge and into healthier space where choice replaces habit and rationality replaces distortions.

I encourage you to engage and stay with it. Many of the people I have helped and I are living proof that perseverance pays dividends when it comes to resolving mental health issues......and most issues for that matter!


Bye For Now,

Bill

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PERSEVERANCE REQUIRES PATIENCE

Having just completed a mission of more than a year I realize that the title of this blog is undeniably true. My goal was to right an injustice. To accomplish that I spent hours writing letters to state my case and and trying to find someone willing to help my cause. Ultimately I did. Much as I was frustrated along the way I kept myself going with the belief that someday I would see a positive result. I had no assurance of that,but an optimistic,yet realistic anticipation. That is, in fact, the very same view I bring to this blog.

In your battles with the powers that be, I encourage you to adopt that same stance and persevere in whatever way you can. The same advice is being offered to those looking for a job, trying to refinance their mortgage and generally struggling to cope with the economy. The same is offered to anyone facing health problems or any other problems for that matter. Today's world, more than in the past, requires a patient and persistent approach to getting things resolved.

I hope you are as successful as I have recently been. Beyond the resolution there is also much pride in a mission finally accomplished.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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WE SHALL OVERCOME, SOMEDAY!

Back in the late 60's this song inspired us to believe and to persevere against a war we felt needed to end. In the end we won.

The same is true today, although the war issue is a little different. We are engaged in combat, sad to say, both in Iraq and Afghanistan. Time will tell whether that was necessary or not.

Yet, there is another war going on right within our own borders. This war is about major corporations trying their best to figure out ways to take advantage of us. They are very good at it. They tell half truths and "faidray a kasha" (confuse a story) in ways intended to increase their bottom line at your and my expense. At least once a week I am battling something that doesn't make sense or add up. Realistic optomism needs to face this unfortunate truth and respond accordingly.

My Rx for us all is perseverance. Eventually--not always but often-- justice is served. It takes time and patience. We cannot go hastily to anger as that solves nothing. The people on the phone are not responsible--they are merely cogs in the machinery of bait and switch, evasion and avoidance of truth. To yell at them is to "gey shri gevolt" (go scream at Gd). It hurts your cause rather than helping it.

Slowly, but surely, patiently and rationally, you can overcome the forces-diablolical as they may be-- that try to outwit you. Little by little you can erode from their elaborate defenses and prevail. Much as they try to wear you down, ultimately you can do that to them and overcome, someday down the road.

More on this and related war stories, the rest of this week.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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WORDS WORTH READING

PERSISTENCE IS SELF-DISCIPLINE IN ACTION.

Good Stuff
____________
COURAGE IS BEING SCARED TO DEATH -- AND SADDLING UP ANYWAY.

John Wayne
____________

YOU CAN OBSERVE A LOT JUST BY WATCHING.

Yogi Berra
____________

IT'S NOT THAT I'M SO SMART,IT'S JUST THAT I STAY WITH PROBLEMS LONGER.

Albert Einstein

A WALK IN THE PARK: PART V

This morning,7/20/09), I went to give the leader of Stroller Strides a card with my blog on it so she could read the one I wrote about her group. I was a little later than usual and the group had finished. There was one Mom left putting her stroller into the back of her car in the parking lot which was otherwise deserted. She probably had done some extra exercise after class.

I walked in her direction intending to give her the card and asking her to give it to the leader at the next meeting. I suddenly veered away. I thought to myself, it could frighten her that an old sweaty,unshaven stranger would come right up to her. She might fear I was about to attack or steal her child or who knows what. I walked on and she was unaware of my simple,nonthreatening intent.

The experience caused me to reflect upon the fear factor that has entered our world. I would not have hesitated ten years ago. The media has helped raise our anxieties, even though most crime has decreased. I don't think it is only crime. I think it is a result of a post 9/11 world in which our safety has been compromised in many different ways. Several years ago I came to the conclusion that, "It is not paranoid to be paranoid anymore."

I guess I just anticipated this young mother's paranoia and walked on by. Not to mention she was in butt kicking shape and I didn't want her to flatten me before I got to say, "Please give this to your leader!" Us guys have to be careful too--especially when it comes to the stroller striders.

Maybe the moral of this story is we all need to take things more in--you guessed it-- STRIDE!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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A WALK IN THE PARK:PART IV

I gave up my quest to modify my directional walking behavior for a while. In the scheme of things it wasn't a big deal. It was more a chuckle on being a rigid nuckle-head.

A few months later I tried again. I had better-not great-but better success. Little by little I kept working at it. In time, it became so desensitized that I could walk comfortably in either direction. I LOL when my wife joined me and I suggested we go "the other" way. She could not do it and quickly complained everything seemed different in an uncomfortable way. She made us turn around and go "the right way." Birds of a feather "walk" together.

Perseverance is the key to modifying one's behavior. The old, "if at first you don't..." is undeniably true. Eventually, we can change any aspect of ourselves that lies within our control. My little experiment in the park just shows how difficult it can be, even on an insignificant issue like the direction in which one walks.

The good news is that now I can go in any direction. I can go one way for one lap and the other way for the other. I can even change the route completely and zig zag my way along. I am now free to move about any which way I want. It has become my choice and that is always a good feeling-even on something as silly as the direction in which I walk. Now if I could only lose 10 pounds...I am working on it...by walking in the park among other things.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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A WALK IN THE PARK:PART III

A few years ago I was thinking about the process of changing and modifying our behavior. I decided to do a simple experiment.

I walk along a winding oval that goes around the perimeter of the park for a tad less than a mile. I always went in the same direction which would be going to the right from the parking lot. Obviously,the same could be accomplished by going to the left. People go in both in directions.

I decided to change and go from the left. Truth be told I could not do it. Changing the direction of my walk changed my perspective so that just about everything looked different to me. I got about a quarter of the way, stopped and turned around and went my usual way--creature of habit that I am!

I was amazed that such a minor behavior change could be so difficult for me. It put in perspective just how difficult changing much more ingrained habits like our diet or drinking alcohol or taking drugs could be. Similarly, changing our thinking habits that contribute to anxiety, depression, etc. can be daunting compared to the direction one walks in the park.

The key to any change or behavioral modification is perseverance. More on this tomorrow.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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A WALK IN THE PARK:PART II

Wednesday morning as I walked in the park I came upon 12 women running while pushing a stroller in front of them. Then they did exercises while singing kid songs to their toddlers. Their leader--part drill sergeant,part compassionate companion-- also had a stroller with a child onboard. They were part of an exercise class called Stroller Strides. I loved the idea. Here's why:

Moms exercising while being Moms is healthy.
Moms are role-modeling health for their young.
Moms are socializing with other Moms.
There is a support net potential that goes
beyond the exercise class and can lead to lunch,
phone calls, help questions,etc.
Moms are outdoors as are their children.
Moms are balancing their parental and personal
responsibilities.

I applaud them and this wonderful,simple,constructive and healthy program. It is a win-win-win for all involved and a lesson for us all.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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A WALK IN THE PARK

I like to start my day with a walk in the park near my home. Nature awakens my senses in a gentle and calming way. I like the sound of the wild green parrots, the waddle of the baby ducks following their mother, the darting motion of the frightened squirrels and the slow, gentle stroke of the turtles in the water.

People are all around walking, jogging, bicycling, playing sports, etc. but they are in the background, while the fauna and flora stand tall and dominant-a relaxing shade of green.

Yes, it is hot and sweaty, even at 9AM, but there is nothing wrong with a little sweat. The shower after tingles my skin while refreshing it in a relaxing way.

I enourage you to move around the planet if you don't already and continue if you do. The many advantages-physical and emotional- are hard to deny and the best thing about it is that it doesn't cost anything, but your time and effort.

More about this Monday.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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THE GOVERNOR'S BALLS: Part II

The day Governor Palin announced her resignation I said to my wife, "If she is elected President in 2012 I'm moving to Bordeaux, France." She said, "OK, I'm voting for her." Clearly, she was endorsing our move to France, not Palin's presidency.

Her bid for VP was more like a reality TV show than a well correographed political race. What was he thinking or drinking when he brought her out of obscurity and into absurdity? I guess he still wonders if he might have won with a different choice. I think the answer is Yes!

There is a definite ballsy part to her decision. She believes she can convince us that leaving her job prematurely and surrounded by scandal will merit entrusting her at the helm of our country. It is even more so, given her ability to fracture the English language on par with our former Republican President. Consider the following quote form the Sun Sentinel:

President Obama is growing government outrageously,and it's immoral
and it's uneconomic,his plan that he tries to sell America.

Frankly, I don't think that sentence would pass a 6th grade FCAT exam.

Eight years of international humiliation and cringing with every news conference were enough. Every late night comedian will vote for her as she represents a treasure trove of monologue's yet to be written. And I am sure the folks at Saturday Night Live will have her double on their first night back saying, "Only dead fish go with the flow,"etc.

My hope is that she is just going for the gold and not the Presidency. Let her be well, earn royalties and fish as much as she wants. Or come vist us in Bordeaux.

Bye For Now,

Bill


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CHOOSING HEALTHY

Today I watched my master bathroom of 25+ years being demolished. It took a day to tear it apart and bring it down to its core. It will take three weeks or more to rebuild it. Right now it looks awful, but soon it will look fresh and updated.

The same is true with people. We can self-destruct in a flash and take quite a while to rebuild. There are no blueprints for us, but several healthy choices with regard to our self-development.

It is positive to tear down an old structure for the sake of renewal. It is not so positive to tear ourselves down before we rebuild. Better we should avoid any self-destructive tear downs and continue to rebuild ourselves as we go. As I have previously said, maturity is not something we ever reach, but keep reaching for as part of our personal growth.

Glop tempts us toward self-destructive ends. Avoid it via self-control, discipline and having a vision beyond the moment.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com


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TIME OUT FOR TRANQUILITY

Friday night or maybe it was Thursday, the Yahoo system was down and I couldn't check my email. I said, "YAHOO!"

Every once in a while we need a break from the routine. Recently, I have been on a kick to not be a ROBOT and unlike Sarah P, just go with the flow. Perhaps I'd rather be a dead fish( her words) than a ROBOT! Actually, I'd rather be an alive fish who is just trying to swim a different, more sensible route. Wish I could say the same about her.

More about that Thursday in The Governor's Balls, Part II.

Bye For Now,

Bill


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IN THE LONG RUN

Ultimately, being a kind, caring, honorable and boundered person is being good to your SELF as well as to others! Don't believe me? Just ask those who haven't been! There are many--too many--to survey.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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WORDS WORTH HEARING

Happiness is in the heart,not in the circumstances.

Anonymous

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.

Michael Pritchard

There is a time to let things happen and a time to make things happen.

Hugh Prather


Everything worthwhile, everything of any value,has a price. The price is effort.

Loretta Young


Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast -- you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor


All from Good Stuff magazine


Bye For Now,


Bill


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A REALLY SHORT, BUT IMPORTANT MESSAGE!

Have a really good day in every way.

Don't let anyone or anything get you down! Be optomistic and content. Seek peace of mind.

Our Tranquility Center inPlantation offers that. Call for a complimentary appointment.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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THE GOVERNOR'S BALLS

Recently, I said we need to look away from the cultural smog. What I failed to say is that sometimes we can learn from it. Two brillant men,on the A list for Presidential material in 2012, shot themselves in the you know where.

To get to be a Governor one must be strategic, intelligent, hard working and savvy in a street/politico way. They have to have high IQ's and EQ's(emotional IQ's). Yet, in these instances, Spitzer and Sanford, were DUMB and DUMBER ( not even sure which is which-perhaps they were dumber and dumber!). This is why my former professor, Mortimer Feinberg, Ph.D. ( who had such a positive influence on my life) wrote a book many years ago entitled, "Why Smart People Do Dumb Things." Maybe it is "Stupid Things" --I can't recall right now, but it doesn't really matter. He had several answers to the question he posed, but the strongest was a sense of HUBRIS, defined as feeling one is beyond consequences due to a inflated sense of self-importance. Think musical genius, sports heroes, actors and actresses and others in the camera light of the Papparazzi.

Logic would suggest it would be the opposite. If I am in your face and you are in my lens, one would think virtue would be the better part of valor.It doesn't seem to work that way. Insecurities and addictive potentials seem to live in the hearts of very successful, highly intelligent people. I am willing to bet (a small sum as I am not much of a gambler) that had I been the life coach of one of these people or if they had one with any capabilities whatsoever, there would have been a good chance to alter the course of history and prevent such self-destruction, familial and communal hurt and shame.

Therefore, I am offering myself to any famous person as a antihubris coach to protect your balls or the female equivilent. Perhaps I can be a jock to the jocks or a shame and blame blocker for the politicians or an alter ego to the actors,muscians and other talented people destined for screaming headlines, rehab, jail and the like. Call me. I will help you to use your large brain to overcome that little one that pushes you over the proverbial cliff in too many directions.

By the way, the same applies ot us less important folk. It is very important that we play and stay within the rules.We need to learn from the big guys and gals not to step on ourselves. When glop rules (see previous blogs,but glop is anything that tempts you into unhealthy and self-defeating behaviors) you put yourself in danger and can hurt many others along the way. Taking care of you is a full time job. Be the very best CEO of your SELF and you will reap the dividends in multiple ways.

As for the big kahunnas out there feel free to call...the little kahunnas too! I help protect all sizes! I am an equal opportunity implorer! As the sign all over IBM when I worked there said, "THINK!" That really says it all.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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"SOMETIMES"

As was pointed out to me recently by a very bright young woman,sometimes, sometimes is the most important word in a sentence. Without it ideas can be exxagerated. Look at the fundemental difference between, "People are selfish and greedy." and Sometimes, people are selfish and greedy." Yet, sometimes we are seduced into making "glittering generalities" that overstate and then negate the very case we are trying to make.

The same is true and even more hurtful in couple conflicts. Sometimes, in my office, I hear a partner speaking to another and saying, "You always do ....." or You never do ......" To which the other person responds by saying, "But, what about this time or that instance..." Watch out for, "You always waste money on stupid stuff," or the equivilent. Remember the word sometimes. It really comes in handy all of the time! Well, maybe that overstates the case -- at least some of the time. No, actually most of the time,but never all of the time. I think I made my point! I always do -- at least some of the time. Sometimes, I even get silly which is a good thing -- sometimes.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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check 3/17 blog to know our goals

CULTURAL CONFUSIONS

I read a brief article about Michael Jackson that blamed part of his problems on the culture "we" have created. I don't know about you, but I haven't created a culture--this one or any one for that matter. Perhaps I have tried to create a culture within my family that pretty much encouraged a Protestant ethic of hard work,honorable behavior and frequent travel,the latter perhaps being more a Jewish ethic. I don't exactly know how we got to this point in our history, but I know for sure I didn't bring us here. I doubt you did either.

So there are two questions. One is who creates our cultural norms. The other is what about them influenced MJ in hurtful ways. I will try to offer my answers in future blogs,but I hope the readers will offer their views and comments as well.

As for our culture,like most things it has its positives and its negatives. It has grown in my time in so many ways. While part of me longs for the simpler,user friendly times of the 50's,I do appreciate the comforts of today. These range from not having to use white out to correct my many typos for this blog to medical innovations that would have spared my father's life at 49 to the availability of information. Let's not forget that we went from no vision of racial equality to coming so much closer to it today. To sum it up the Holocaust,in my opinion, could not have reached the magnitude it did in today's tech times. Information, at times overkill and annoying,is the basis for creating democracies,which is really the basis for a civillized culture.

OK. So I know you will start thinking dirty politicans, human greed, reality TV,the pervasiveness of drugs and a host of other toxic pollutant's create a culture of smog.For your own sake and sanity I encourage you not to dwell on those. Rather enjoy the privledges our culture offers, even during tough and challenging times, and feel grateful for what you have. Try, as well, not to buy into the temptations of that glopful smog.

I understand that many have lost much and for that I feel sad and sorry. You still have the power to preserve your dignity while restoring your solvency and I sincerely hope that is what you will do. It is that very grit and determination that our ancestors drew upon to build this great nation. I believe those same potentials still exist within the fabric of our culture. Maintaining ourselves is all about focusing on the positives,drawing strength and motivation from them and realizing how fortunate we are to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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GOD BLESS AMERICA

Tomorrow is July 4th.

Where are the flags that flew for months after 9/11? Where is the spirit that that tragedy sparked? Though the flags are not flown, I hope and believe our spirit is still there.

Despite taking some serious hits, like Rocky, America the beautiful stands tall. We are a symbol of so much to so many.

Let us all feel proud tomorrow of our great nation and all that it represents. God bless America. God bless us all!

Have a safe 4th and enjoy the day in every way you can. As I have previously said, you just never know what's coming around the corner!


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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MEDIA MADNESS

I believe and feel you will agree that we are being manipulated by the media. They draw us in by overkill,hype and hysteria too much of the time. Less than 24 hours after MJ died we were subject to constant TMI in a less than respectful way.

This iconic figure,pockmarked as he might have been, deserved more respect and silence about the state of his finances, who would get his children, how many drugs at what doses he might have imbibed and all the rest. At least I waited 6 days before I put my 2cents in. His family deserved just a little more consideration as well. While we are on this subject, the South Flordia surgeon might have reread HIPPA rules. Dead people do have rights--one of them being confidentiality!

I fully understand that those in the public eye are targets for the media. Can't they wait a while before going through every dirty linen in the hamper? Are there no rules, ethics or honor on slow playing a bad hand compassionately? Must we, time and time again, go for the kill, even when the person just died?

It is no different with any sensational headline. I am already prepared for the, "The Hurricane is coming...It is coming directly at Bill Penzer's house and will destroy everything as the waters go over the levees....(even though there are no levees near my house)and you must take cover right now as this is a MONSTER storm of grave proportion...that at the last minute by-passed Florida and is heading right for New Orleans or New Jersey and will inflict untold damage in the 10's of millions...although it just went out to sea and petered out and.... There is another storm just identified that is on the coast of Africa and slated to be here in about a week as a category 5. We interupt this program to bring you a Hurricane Alert................Give me a break!

The antidote is the same as to bring the price of popcorn down in your local movie theater. Don't buy into it. Don't watch and they won't tell. Don't buy and they won't overcharge any more. The more we stand up in silent protest, the more they will hear us and respond. I guarantee it.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

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THE KING IS DEAD--- ONCE AGAIN!

Thursday night I watched the MJ obits shows and was reminded of Elvis' premature farewell many years ago. Kings works so hard to get to the top and then some can so easily fall off the mountain with lightening speed. Perhaps most mortals were never meant to be kings.

Michael J was a creative man whose behavior charts like a zig-zagging stock market ticker. His stock soared and sank back and forth, up and down. After the last trial he seemed to almost disappear from view.

So did his racial heritage. He went from an adorable black child to a handsome black young adult and adult to a ghostly looking almost white, but not quite Thriller,Chiller alien. Whatever were you thinking, Michael?

We never got to know you beyond your musical genius, but the real question is did you know yourself? Did, "The Man in The Mirror," ever look into one, literally or figuratively? Behind your gentle,soft spoken child-like voice lay a most complicated human being who did, who knows what, repeatedly. What did the masks really say about you? Neverland aptly describes your journey--never quite making sense and never quite landing tall.

So what can we learn from you? Perhaps that losing one's childhood early forces one to keep trying to hold onto it,especially under abusive conditions. Perhaps that as we see time and time again, success and wealth can breed hubris, which in turn, breeds humiliation and destruction of one's core. Finally, that sometimes there is a certain insatiability to creative genius which ultimately destroys those very achievements and turns mammoth pride bank deposits into chronic shame and blame entries.

Clearly MJ, your music will live on as will your iconic legend. So will the cloudy haze of an unevolved life, comingled with an inner discontent, lack of self-acceptance and who knows what else. It is Elvis all over again, sad to say. You even married a Presley for a short while as if to tie your yolk to his.

May you rest in the peace you never seemed to find in your life, even on your own personal ferris wheel or even in your own bed.


Bye For Now,

Bill


www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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see 3/17 blog to know our goals

FATHER'S DAY REVISITED

Today I was reflecting on my Father's Day last week. It was a good,but different kind of a day. Perhaps I am learning from these blogs.

I decided I would do no "work" that day. For me that is a big step forward. My son and daughter visited as did my 98+ year old Mom who is struggling, but hanging in for the moment. We had a lovely brunch--indoors- because outdoors was definitely too hot.

We returned Mom to her home where she has amazingly lived alone all these years (although now she has people who come in twice a day to help her). Then we...played board games. Give me a break--I don't play any games! But I did this day and I had fun--we all had fun. Laughing while playing Apples to Apples which is a game for all ages and then Scrabble. I enjoyed it even though I left a Q in my que because I didn't have a U. But I had a You(meaning me) of a good time none-the-less.

In a follow-up thank you email my son pointed out how nice and easy it is to have fun economically. I whole heartedly agree. Now is the time to return to fun, play, board games and OK (true confessions time) Pizza. It is all good in moderation. The Monday after Father's Day I worked all day catching up, but with a smile on my face. That makes a big difference.


Bye For Now,


Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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REALITY RULES!

As our recession/depresssion reared into full swing, several sucessful men said, "In my family we have lived large," or the equivilent. That was code for we spend a shitload of money on silly stuff! These same families and many others like them are reevaluating what were excessive, self-indulgent life styles. There was at least a little of that in almost all middle and higher class homes.

Credit cards, easy loan money,inflated home values and stock market simultaneously and a happy days are here again/gold rush mind set fed excesses in everything from private schooling,expensive dance classes for 10 year old klutzes,lavish trips and baubles of all kinds including shoes and purses in the many hundreds, even thousands of dollars.

The really wealthy always had these luxuries, but in the past decade or so,the semi, temporarily or delusionally wealthy thought they could jump in as well.For those more grounded in reality there were always knock offs.

Now, I hope reality will rule for all of us,even the truly wealthy. Knock offs do have there place you know. When we live in reality boundries temper temptations. We are also forced to seperate need from greed as we take more time to make costly decisions, rather than respond impulsively.

Reality is really a cost to benefit analysis. Reality says markets go up and down and sideways and who knows which way. It also says saving for a rainy day is not old fashioned--it's common sense and self-protective.

Living large is undeniably fun till it comes time to pay the credit card bill, mortgages, etc. Living realistically is safer and more secure which in the long run is really fun.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals

THE HIGH COST OF JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING!

While cars, homes, certain clothing and some restaurant meals have come down in price,just about everything else seems high and higher.

Gas, drycleaning,my haircut,food at the supermarket or the local market, movies,popcorn and a drink, sports or theater tickets and food or drink in all captive spaces all seem overpriced--in many cases ridiculously so.

I would have thought by now that supply and demand would have had a more general effect. I also would have thought that working on smaller margins of profit and loss leaders would be a better option than store and busines closings at an alarming rate,especially given the domino effect of that.

Therefore, until we see these adjustments occur it is important to be a wiser than ever consumer. Tighter budgeting and more conservative spending helps in many ways. Beyond saving money, it forces us to develop a live within our means model. That was the way it was before credit and credit cards created mass delusions of grandeur and a manic episode of acquisition based on money tree beliefs. In addition, by showing restraint in our consumption,we will ultimately effect the demand curve in a way which will bring down prices. Just watch what happens if no one,for example,buys popcorn at the movies. Or no one goes to the movies.

My optomism about the future is not based on a belief that the economy will magically turn around anytime soon. It is fueled by my hope and belief that we will learn from our experiences,adapt accordingly and avoid the dangerous trap of denial as it applies to money matters. Our culture of narcisism and age of entitlement need to morph into a time when reality rules. More on this Monday.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com
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WHEN PAINFULLY SLOW IS AMAZINGLY FAST

Yesterday, I talked about turning back the hands of time. In fact, it is as if the advancement of technology has sped up the hands of time and altered our perception of it. BC (before computers), getting things done was undeniably and understandably slow. We all accepted life at that slow pace because we didn't know any better. The good news was we weren't in such a hurry. That Joe The Grocer added our bill by scribbling the cost of each item on the side of the brown paper bag with a thick pencil and adding it up out loud ( 6+4+7+5 is 22 carry the 2) was good enough.

Today, despite scanners and credit card payment machines we can't get through the line fast enough.Even the self-pay system at Home Depot keeps us waiting a few seconds before it spits out our receipt ( come on already!) in record time. The same with getting on line or sending an email. If it takes an extra second or two for my email to be sent, I can be oh so annoyed! If the voice mail message doesn't immediately offer the option I need or if the person I am calling doesn't immediately pick up I feel frustrated. You don't even know what I say to the automated woman who says, "I do not understand your response," after I just read her my credit card number.

In reality, what we perceive as major delays are actually amazing transactions being processed at lightening speed. In that context we need to take a small step back to avoid being sucked into this accelerated time machine. We are not robots and need to avoid responding like one. We simultaneously need to slow our lives down to a healthier,less hectic and harried pace, while appreciating our highly efficient new world order--even when it goes a few seconds slower than we would like.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals

TORN JEANS,TATTOOS AND TRADITION

Recently, I've seen several fashionable women wearing jeans so tattered that I couldn't help but say, My mother would never let me out of the house in those." A recent article in New York magazine said ripped jeans are in for summer '09 and range in price from $175-$425.

My reaction is the same as it is to those young folk who cover themselves in tattoos. Harmless,but silly!

I keep hoping that these challenging economic times will turn back time,so our culture of narcisism will be modified to the simpler,happy days of the past.

Clearly, corporations,designers,the media, etc. all try to influence us for their gain. As healthy, balanced and confident people we are better positioned to make choices that make personal sense to us, rather than being concerned about making statements to others.

Now is a good time to work on ourselves so that the cess of our past and the toll it takes on our confidence, doesn't make a mess of our lives in any way. As messes go ripped or faux paint splattered jeans don't even count. They are a symbol of silly,not sick.

The good news is that when torn jeans are out of style- say by summer '10- they can go the way of all fashion statements by ending up at the back of the closet or in the rummage pile. Tattoos, on the other hand are not so easy to erase. Neither are traditions thank goodness. Perhaps it is time we went to the back of that closet to pull out some that could well apply in helpful ways today?


Bye For Now,


Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals

TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS

Realted to yesterdays blog is this NEVER TOO LATE.... wisdom:



to make your own decisions

Take advice.
Seek information.
Draw on other's experience.
Confirm your views.
But make your own choices.
Set you own course.
Be responsible for your own life.

From "It's Never Too Late... by
Patrick Lindsay


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

ON FATHER'S DAY AND SELF DAY

Fathers come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Some are caring and loving, while others are distant, disconnected or dead (literally or figuratively). Some are abusive, sad to say. Sometimes fathers guide us well,other times we have to find our own way.

Yesterday was a day to honor Fathers--at least those that deserve honor. Hopefully you had that opportunity in some form or another. Today is a day to honor yourself-- for all you have been through, for the ups and downs of your life,for the choices you have made that were wise and for those that weren't, but from which you learned and hopefully for your ongoing committment to the slow, evolving process of personal growth.

Ultimately, we need to be our own Mother and Father and guide our SELVES well on this strange journey we call life.

A Happy Self Day to all.


PS I can see Hallmark churning out those cards already:

Dear Self,

I really love and appreciate you SOOOOOOO much on this and every day. Or you could send yourself a voice card in your own voice saying these messages. Screw the cards and commercialized and compartmentalized emotionality. Just talk to yourself in a kind, supportive, loving way each and every day!! It is time to appreciate all of your fine qualities and stop picking on the minor flaws.

Bye For Now,

Bill


www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals

CHOOSING HEALTHY

In a Sun Sentinel article(6/1/09) the author argued that contrary to popular belief,a bad economy is bad for our physical and emotional health. He states,"economic stress causes overeating or switching to cheaper,less healthful food so people gain weight." Critical is the question of whether we gain insight from challenges or use them as an excuse to indulge our little girl/boy parts. Coping is about mobilizing our healthy adult self!

Clearly, things can go either way. A loss of money,jobs, status, identity, homes, etc.certainly foster depression,anxiety,lethargy and indulgence in glopful (hurtful and self-defeating) activities.

These same losses and their emotional reactions can stimulate vigilence,creativity, activity, healthier habits and a committment to modifying values, beliefs attitudes and behaviors that have become distorted, exxagerated or indulgent.


The path to hurtful or healthy is a choice. I hope you agree and work toward making choices that are healthy, self-enhancing and prideful.

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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Check 3/17 blog to know our goals.

HAIR HAS ROOTS

Singing, "Let The Sunshine In" Hair won a 2009 Tony for best musical revival.

When I saw in in the 60's it seemed so relevant as to be a stage production of our lives at that very moment. When I saw it a few months ago my initial reaction was that it was as outdated as I myself feel. Let's face it. When you don't do MySpace, Tweet on Twitter,do FaceBook and have never visited Amazon.com, EBay or UTube it is easy to feel like an antique. I think I once went on Craigs list,but it was by accident!

Be that as it may, when Hair unfolded my mind set reached a higher consciousness. I came in contact with the adage, "the more things change, the more they stay the same." Hair is about revolution and a peaceful protest against war.Irag and Viet Nam are really twins on a scale of DUH!! Hair is also about love, acceptance and kindness.

The flower power values of the 60's are as important today as they were back them. As the man accepting the award said, Peace Now, Freedom Now, Equality Now and Justice for All." Some things transcend time and maintain a universal and perpetual relevance. The roots of Hair grow long today. As you can see I changed my mind. That is really what the play is all about.

In so many ways we have progressed since the 60's, but by the same toke(n)we have slipped. It may just be time to let our Hair down,come up for Air,Find Someone to Love,conclude You Got Life and optomistically say, Good Morning Sunshine. Oh, did I mention that we also need to Let The Sunshine In?

PEACE NOW and forever!!!

Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

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TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF

It's Never Too Late:

TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!


Life is too short to take it too seriously.
It's easy to laugh at others--much harder to laugh at
ourselves.
But is is more rewarding.
It lightens our lives.
It brightens others' lives.
It builds self-confidence and self-worth.
It endears us to others.

FROM: It's Never too Late
by Patrick Lindsay

WORDS WORTH READING

THE BEST WE CAN DO IS SIZE UP THE CHANCES,CALCULATE THE RISKS INVOLVED,
ESTIMATE OUR ABILITY TO DEAL WITH THEM,AND THEN MAKE OUR PLANS WITH
CONFIDENCE.

Henry Ford


YOU HAVE TO HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE IN YOUR ABILITY AND THEN BE TOUGH
ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

Rosalynn Carter


ALL OF US HAVE BAD LUCK AND GOOD LUCK. THE MAN WHO PERSISTS THROUGH
THE BAD LUCK -- WHO KEEPS RIGHT ON GOING-- IS THE MAN WHO IS THERE WHEN
THE GOOD LUCK COMES AND IS READY TO RECEIVE IT. (I would add woman as
well).

Robert Collier

ON BEING/BLOGGING RELEVANT

I received an email from a young man whose opinion I value. He said, "I like what you are blogging, but most don't have to do with the economy. If I go to a blog by that name I want practical, economy related answers to our tough times."

I gave this feedback serious thought and then concluded I am a Psychologist, not an Economist or Financial Advisor. My portfolio or lack thereof certainly reflects that. I end each blog sending people back to my inital one-3/17/09- which defines my goals.

Coping is the critical word. Whether it is economic losses, deaths, panic or phobia, divorce, business stresses, medical problems or family strife it is all about healthy vs. unhealthy coping. It is also all about taking better care of YOU!

This is what this blog is about. if you need financial help experts are all around. Chose wisely and carefully. If you can benefit from emotional encouragement, support and a few rays of realistic, optomistic sunshine return to this blog every business day.


PS Thanks B.R. for helping me clarify these issues for you, me and the readers of copewiththeeconomy. Sure hope you get the dog poop off the carpet ASAP.Be well!

Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzerphd.com

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561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

TO RELAX!

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE...

TO RELAX


Take time to pause.
Forget the coffee and the smokes.
Don't eat lunch at your desk.
Take a walk in the park.
Browse in a bookstore.
Chill in a library.
Go for a run,or a swim.
Have a laugh with friends.
Break the endless cycle.

FROM: It's Never Too Late by Patrick Lindsay


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

see 3/17 blog to know our goals

BY THE WATER'S EDGE

I stopped at the water's edge after a long walk on the beach. I followed my own advice.I stood there in place and became mindful.

I became aware of the sweat glisteningbrightly as it dripped off my body. I followed along as these tiny drops merged with the big sea waters. I watched the white bubbles kiss the shore at different points in different ways. I listened to the greeting of the sounds of the waves announcing their arrival. I observed the different shades of blue and green creating a peacful picture. I saw a Pelican swooping from on high to precisely hit a target and hungrily eat its catch. I became aware of the wet sand beneath my toes as I twisted them about. I noticed seashells randomly distributed beneath the white bubbles and blueish green waters.

I then spontaneously stretched my arms out as wide as they could go while observing the wispy white clouds criss-crossing through a pale blue sky.

Then I very calmly walked back.


Bye For Now,

Bill

www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1

check 3/17 blog to know our goals

TO HELP SOMEONE

It's Never too Late:


TO HELP SOMEONE

It brings joy to both parties.
It makes you a better person and gives the receiver
faith and hope.
It's usually reciprocated.
It gives life greater purpose.

And he forgot to mention it is a Pride Bank Deposit!

From It's Never too Late by Patrick Lindsay


Bye For Now,


Bill.

www.williampenzerphd.com

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WORDS WORTH HEARING

Tact is rubbing out another's mistake instead of rubbing it in.

Unknown
Good Stuff Magazine

DRIVING ME CRAZY!

For a variety of reasons I am driving around more than before. I am shocked at the risks people are willing to take. This blog is directed to them. My fear is they don't read much.

I am imploring you to calm down. You seem to want to beat me out in one way or another. What don't those of you who do that not understand? A vehicle is a lethal weapon of mass destruction. 50K+ die each year on America's roadways. Surely, you don't want to be one of them! Surely, I don't, even if you do!

On the main streets you weave in and out like you are making a scatter rug. On the highways entrances you are behind me, but jump out in front of me accomplishing exactly what I must ask, other than making it hard for me to enter the road? When you are not doing that you are cutting me off from the left or the right,driving much to close to my bumper, wizzing by me (that goes for you helmetless guys on the motorcyles) and royally pissing me off in all kinds of ways. This ain't bumper cars--this is your (and my) life. Somehow, I don't like the same odds that oddly you do.

I like life. Ending it in a crash never appealed to me.Does it appeal to you? I can't imagine why. You are just are in denial. Believe me when I say death by motor vehicle accident is all too real. Check the papers any day of the week.

Please steer clear of me. I'm in the silver Lexus SUV with the copewiththeeconomy magnets on either side. Please show some respect to me and other drivers. And if you are drunk please call me to drive you home or a cab. DUI's are no fun at all. Trust me on that and all the rest,so you don't end up as a RIP road marker...the one with the flowers, teddy bears and blood splattered all about.

Bye For Now,

Bill


www.williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
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check 3/17 blog to know our goals

7 Out OF 10 Ain't Bad -- Part III

Think of that which is pretty good at 7 of 10:

slot machine hits
any sports statistics other than strike outs,
errors,fumbles, sacks, etc.
percentage of sales
stock picks
foul shots
relapse statistics
memory recall of unimportant issues
olympic medals
sucessful business days these days
pride bank deposits

That which is not that good:

lost luggage on airline flights
being late to an important meeting
grades in any subject other than belly dancing
frequency of fender benders
overdraws on your checking account
losing keys, wallet, etc.
remembering important deadlines
number of successful marriages
number of lawsuits against you which you will win

Think of others and send in a comment.


Remember 7 of 10 is a relative concept. Hopefully, all of your 7's can be relatively prideful scores.


Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzerphd.com

954 475 1371 x 1
561 361 1898 x 1


check 3/17 blog to know our goals