THIS VERY MOMENT!

Mental health professionals speak about staying present in the moment of our lives.By doing that we deal with what is going on right then and there. It is a way to dodge historical hurts as well as future fears. They believe the only reality is here and now. They are correct best as I can tell.

This goal has its origins in Eastern philosophy. It is easier said than done. Our minds tend to race back and forth along many converging lines. With practice, one can become more present centered,more now focused and more able to enjoy life--one moment, one hour, one day at a time.

Taking a few moments every day to be mindful is an interesting and relaxing
experience. Just close your eyes, take a few deep belly breaths and begin to tune into the sounds and sensations that surround you or are within you.

Observe a tingling in your toe or an itch on your ear. Move to the sound of the AC kicking on or going off. Hear the lawn mower in the distance or see the flashes of light within your closed eyes.Or just be aware of the rhythmic vibrations of your breathing. Don't react in any way, just observe, take note,stay with it or move on.

Focus, pay attention,become aware and observe the peace inducing benefits of being mindful. It is definitely a "smell the roses" experience that helps counterbalance the stresses of our lives. Try it...you will definitely like it.

Bye For Now,

Bill


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SEER IOUSLY

I have never been very good at predicting the future. I don't think most people are able to do that well.

Who, but a small few, could have predicted the techno revolution that is still in its infancy. Back at IBM in the late 60's, computers took up huge rooms at frigid temperatures. When punch cards gave way to large tape drives--boy-- that was innovation in its finest hour. How many of you have ever seen a tape drive? Raise your hand. At that time who would ever have thought that people could carry a computer aka a telephone around in their shirt pocket or purse?

So much has changed in our life time. So much more will change in the next 10+ years.Amazing things will happen to make our lives,health and minds better. Let us look forward to these marvels with anticipation and excitement.

In the meantime, let's focus on the present(see tomorrows blog). We need to stop lamenting the past as it is over and done with--just like tape drives! We need to stop worrying about the future as it will be good and not so good depending. We need to stay in the here and now and look forward optomistically to "what's coming around the corner." Hopefully, it will be good for you and yours.


Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.
Danny Kaye

Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong actions in
the past.
Tyron Edwards


Bye For Now,

Bill

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IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

As I said last week, "You just never know what's coming around the corner." I went to a dinner on Tuesday nite. They gave each of us a gift bag. Mine had a copy of "The Last Lecture," which I already read and loved for all of its positivism and inspiration. It takes a "mensch" (yiddish for a good man) to write that as he is dying.

Someone took my bag. Instead, the hostess gave me a copy of "It's Never Too Late," by Patrick Lindsay. It was "beshert!" (yiddish for mean't to be). It is a neat book filled with wise and inspiring thoughts. Here is a sample that correlates to last weeks HOPEFUL blogs, as well as those dealing with active vs. passive.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE....

TO MAKE PLANS

Looking ahead takes you out of the daily grind.
Planning ahead brings hope. (Told you So)
Small plans first, with realistic goals.
Build confidence.
Then make bigger plans with bigger goals.
Always have plans.

"You are young at any age if you're planning for tomorrow"
Anonymous

Bye For Now,

Bill

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STOPGLOP.COM

On Friday I used the word GLOP and promised to elaborate this week. Glop is intended to remind us that our life's goal is to fill our pride bank and avoid shame and blame deposits. It is the standard by which I have tried to live my life.

Glop is an unattractive, unappealing word I use to describe anything that tempts people to put themselves in harms way. Glop lives large in alcohol, drugs,casinos, food,boardrooms,bedrooms and even shops--bricks and mortar or on-line.

Glop tempts people toward hurtful and self-destructive behaviors. It makes a mess time and time again. We see this over and over with famous and not so famous people.

I encourage you to check out your glopful potentials and choices and work hard to reduce or eliminate them from your repertoire. Check out the inventories at www.stopglop.com. I wish you health, healing and happiness.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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Memorial Day

Nearly 5000 men and women have died in Iraq & Afghanistan.

Think about their sacrifices...send a prayer in their direction and that of their families. I know a good man who gave his life prematurely to save his comrades. Gd bless him and all the others and then....have no other serious thoughts throughout the day.

Rest your weary minds so you can move forward on Tuesday. These are challenging times in so many ways.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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ON RESILIENCE

This week I have emphasized the importance of sustaining hope, especially during tough times. I just read a brief excerpt in Time Magazine from Elizabeth Edward’s new book, “Resilience.” The little I read speaks of hope.

In 2006 while battling breast cancer that invaded her lymph nodes (not hopeful), with her husband running a dark horse race for President( not hopeful), she learned a few distorted details of her husband’s affair (not hopeful) and later learned from the tabloids that there might be a child involved and that it was more than a one time adventure ( super not hopeful!).

Yet, I sense from my short read that she has hope. They are still together. It feels as if she has planted seeds of forgiveness, while he sows the harvest of distrust. He struggles to separate these newly sprouted weeds, from the lush green grass of old. Glop kicks ass every time (see next Monday’s blog).

The title fits perfectly and my guess is the book is worth the read, especially if it inspires hope. I would go so far as to say that hope is the fuel that powers resilience and enables us to overcome severe blows to our trust.

I wish the Edward’s family well—we can only HOPE!


Bye For Now,


Bill

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I HOPE THAT:

You are rewarded in proportion to that which you deserve.
You have multiple sources of pride bank deposits.
You limit or eliminate your shame and blame
You know how to count it all fairly and objectively.
You believe in working on yourself for personal growth throughout your life.
You always have HOPE!


Bye For Now,

Bill

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YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT’S COMING AROUND THE CORNER

This blog is dedicated to the fine woman who inspired it.



What I really like about life is the title of this blog. Whether I am in the African bush, wandering the streets of the Big Apple or the much quieter spaces of Coral Springs and Jupiter, Florida, I just never know. Same for you, wherever you are.

I will be the first to admit that sometimes what’s coming at us really sucks. OMG it can take you to dark, low and challenging spaces in a flash. But, that is life! Our job is to rise to it and live through it---hopefully.

Other times, however, what comes at us is heaven on earth, pure joy and dynamite in the most positive sense of the term. That is what makes life interesting, exciting and worth living. It is also what enables us to get through difficult times. Life gets better and worse and better again-hopefully!

As Freud taught us years ago, what we need to feel fulfilled is Love and Work. I will add that it really helps if we love our work! Many people are s… out of luck in both areas for the moment. There is no denying these are rough and tumble times.

But good things may be coming around the corner. We can only hope they will come soon. I wish you well.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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HOPE FULLY!

Yesterday’s blog came from a sign that sits in my office that simply says, “HOPE.”

Hope is one of life’s most essential ingredients! Without it there is only sadness, pessimism and a revolving door of self-fulfilling, not so wonderful, prophecies.

With Hope we keep our dreams alive. With it we can set and reset our goals, learning and growing along the way.

HOPE—a simple word really—is a complex set of beliefs about anticipating and enjoying positive outcomes. Ultimately, it is what enables us to believe in ourselves.

Keep believing in you and keep HOPE alive, both in your head and in your heart.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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THE SHORTEST MOST POSITIVE BLOG EVER

HOPE! 

Bye For Now,

Bill

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TO SIR, WITHOUT LOVE

For many years I have noticed that younger people will deferentially refer to me as “Sir.” The most recent example was the 30ish man in the park with his dog who said, “And a very good morning to you, Sir.” Here I am trying to be active and I get taken down like a dog being readied to be put to sleep. I wouldn't do that to his dog!

This happens in many different places. At the gym younger guys will say, “Do you want to work in with me, Sir?” This makes me feel they think I might pass on before they complete their reps. In supermarkets, I hear a lot of, “Go ahead of me, Sir” and at other stores, “How are we today, Sir?” The latter is a double dose of condescension. I understand when and why I became Sir, but not when I became we! Perhaps I am just too sensitive to this aging thing!

Though I appreciate the intended respect, I don’t love the implied, “old man” context. Aging is a weird and funny thing. We all want to get older, but don’t want to be older.

I feel 25 years younger than I am. Please don’t take me out of that denial by calling me Sir. Better you should call me Billy. Some really old friends still do. That they are my “really old” friends tells the tale, now that I think about it.

Call me what you like as it doesn’t really change anything. Just please try not to call me Sir!


Bye For Now,

Sir Billy


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GOOD MORNING CORAL SPRINGS!

For me, active is a morning walk in the park near my house. It is a mile long trek that loops along the park’s perimeter. People walk in both directions such that we often pass each other. Too often, passers by avoid eye contact and don’t say good morning. When I do they look at me as if I am up to something not so good.

When I have walked in other places –Georgia or California—I have always been greeted by those going the other way with a hearty, “good morning, beautiful day, have a good one….” Such warmth is viral and begets more of the same.

For some reason many South Floridians take a colder approach. Sad to say the same is true in many neighborhoods, mine included. Maybe it is me!!! Somehow, I don't think so.

Last Friday, however, every person who passed me said, “Good Morning.” One guy, walking with his dog to whom I said,. “Good morning,” said, “A very good morning to you, Sir.” More on that tomorrow.

Perhaps there is hope for us yet. My encouragement is to be active, be friendly and be happy. It can be all good—at least on a morning walk in the park.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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TV OR NOT TV: THERE IS NO ANSWER

Know up front that I don’t watch TV. Sometimes I watch the news or part of it. Most of the time it makes me feel sad. I will watch Idol if we are having dinner. I don’t really care who wins—I think the top 10 all win. I think the show is far from reality. In fact, I would go so far as to say, there is no reality on TV. It is just a well scripted illusion.

In this context, you can imagine my shock when I read a few months ago that the average American watches well over 250 hours of TV a month. “Where do they get the time to do that?” I asked out loud. My “to do” list is never ending, though my life and practice is not that complicated.

Though there is some TV worth watching, too much is a form of denial that provides and easy and passive escape. TV is effortless. With a remote in your hand you neither have to stand, nor walk. With modern day recorders you neither have to be there on time, nor watch commercials. It is all a “walk in the park” without moving a limb! Personally, I prefer a real walk in a real park on a really sunny day.

You clearly have choices. Relaxing is always a worthwhile investment of your time. The same is true of taking active and proactive steps to managing your life. That active approach to your life will pay dividends many times over. Go girls! Go guys! Move on down the line. The TV will always be there for you whenever you need to fill in some blanks. I hope you decide to chose it rather than abuse it!


Bye For Now,

Bill

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ON BEING ACTIVE AND PROACTIVE

Yesterdays blog encouraged being active and proactive. That is important in hard times, but applies for all times. I believe that active beats passive every time. Activity offers distraction, focus, accomplishment and progress. It cleanses our mind, while filling our pride bank. It is what personal growth and societal growth is all about.

I also understand that emotional issues like anxiety, panic, phobia, ocd, depression, relationship conflict, etc. have a way of freeze framing us into passivity. We can become stuck in an emotional sink hole filled with crazy glue. I have been there and done that many years ago.

There was only one thing I or others can do under those circumstances. Put your right hand on your left shoulder (or vice versa for lefties) and slowly, but surely (see blog on 5/1 with that title) lift yourself out of that hole.

Laying around, watching TV, sleeping, hiding in your room, etc. will definitely not help you. Moving around and taking care of business will—I guarantee it!

Bye For Now,

Bill

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MY VOICE, MY VOTE

Active vs. Passive is your choice,
But please hear these words from my voice,

Staying active soothes our souls,
And moves us closer to our goals,

Taking charge paves the way,
For us to enjoy a better day,

Let’s dig in our heels, stand tall and proud,
And repeat these words outloud:

I shall rise to all challenges.
I shall not let dust settle beneath my feet.
I shall seek out every possibility.
I shall never, ever give up.
I/We shall overcome someday soon!


MORE ON THIS THE REST OF THIS WEEK

Bye For Now,

Bill

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ON BEING THE CEO OF YOUR SELF

Many years ago I wrote some articles on this subject and subsequently learned that someone wrote a book. I have often been a day late and a dollar short.

I believe we are all CEO’s of our SELF. It is a title that comes with our birth certificates, whether we know it or not. When we partner as adults we become CO-CEO’s. If we chose not to we must manage our personal corporation on our own.

There are many similarities between a business corporation and a personal one. Similar functions and responsibilities maintain both. In both finance, marketing, PR, human relations, etc. need to be attended to. As people, we need to be creative, communicative, decisive, moderate risk takers, planners, etc. In both cases our goal is to create financially sound and emotionally healthy entities.

Yesterday’s blog, simplistically outlined the core goals of a CEO in managing a business or personal corporation.

By assessing how you are running your personal corporation relative to those ideals, you can begin to evaluate how well you are doing. You decide your personal stock price. Figure out how you can increase its value in all areas.

More on this subject and the complex area of personal accounting in future blogs. Stay tuned.


Bye For Now,

Bill

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SANITY MADE SIMPLE…BUT NOT EASY!

Feel proud of all you possess that is pride worthy.
Work hard to resolve /reduce that which causes shame and blame.
Make sure your self-accounting is fair and accurate.
Set goals and work toward them so you can be an effective CEO of your SELF.
Stay busy, active and productive.
Take time for you—exercise, relax and have fun.
Eat and drink reasonably and responsibly.
Be kind to others and giving of your self.
Appreciate and be grateful for what you have.
Maintain hope and sustain optimism, no matter what.
Never, never, never give up!



Bye For Now,

Bill


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7 Out of 10 Ain’t Bad!

A couple of years ago I wrote an article, ( “Taking Better Care of You,” http://www.williampenzerphd.com/) that encouraged people to think back to activities that brought pleasure in the past. I asked them to see if it might be positive to pursue that again. In so doing I triggered a memory of how much I enjoyed playing basketball in the schoolyard and later at the Y in the Bronx, NY.

Admittedly, I wasn’t very good, but I sure had fun and I did try my best. The team I played on at the Y was appropriately named, The Jokers. We lived up to our name in every way!

So I bought a basketball and began shooting after my walk in the park which I try to do several times a week. I can think of no better way, well maybe with one or two exceptions, to start the day. The air, sun, animals, birds and foliage awaken my senses

The other day I was shooting and decided to try ten shots from the foul line. I made seven of ten. I could never do that when I was young. Like fine wine I have aged well—at least in terms of foul shooting.

I encourage you to think about what might be pleasurable at this time in your life. Find something that you used to enjoy and that is inexpensive or free and try it. You might just get lucky, like I have been, and stumble onto something that is enjoyable.

In my case they don’t call them free shots for nothing and you must admit 7 out of 10 ain’t bad!

Bye For Now,


Bill

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IT TOO WILL COME BACK

Upon returning home from a trip to NYC post Hurricane Wilma we were surprised to find our backyard in shambles. Many large trees that lined the banks of the canal came down. They lay like large Lincoln Logs randomly distributed on our roof, in our pool, and across the yard. They brought down our pool enclosure which was on the deck and in the pool. The pool itself looked like a huge test tube growing bacteria and algae. Some trees showed half exposed roots. Bare tree limbs looked naked in the light of day. By the time the bobcats left no grass was visible. The sprinkler pipes sat above ground and looked like skin cut open exposing arteries and veins.

Eleven thousand dollars later, a crew of ten men and three bobcats had cut and neatly stacked all the wood in front of our house. It reminded us of a Northern winter scene where piles of snow from streets and driveways were piled in front of the homes and apartment buildings. In both cases there was a delay in trucks arriving to cart the stuff away. Each home had its wood stacked so high that if you stood in the street you couldn’t see the house.

Time and some insurance money, similar to a stimulus package, have totally rehabilitated our yard. I sit here now on a sunny and breezy Sunday morning writing this blog. The pool has been rebuilt and boasts a fountain. New tan pavers cover over the beat up chattahoochie and look lovely and updated. All of the barren trees have leaves and new landscaping offers a finishing touch over a carpet of restored green grass. The sprinkler pipes are, once again, invisible.

Our backyard and neighborhood were restored and even improved upon. This is a metaphor for our current economic situation. In time, it too will come back. Life appears to be a series of growth spurts and push backs—a building up and a tearing down and a building up again. Important is that we survive the downward cycles. As important is that we learn from them. I hope you commit to doing that. That is precisely what I was saying yesterday.

Bye For Now,

Bill

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DOING IT DIFFERENTLY

I keep thinking about how easily we get stuck in traps of our own making. Time marches on, but we have a funny way of standing still.

Our thoughts and actions are filtered by lenses that keep us in the same old spaces. New issues are met with automatic, knee jerk-- like responses. Our choices can be ridiculously redundant. Being creatures of habit can be a positive and not so positive thing, depending on the specific habit. Going to the gym and going to the bar are very different activities.

I keep asking myself, “How can I do it differently this time around? How can I avoid traps that are waiting for me up ahead? How, like the teacher played by Robin Williams in Dead Poet’s Society, can I stand on top of my desk and see things from a different angle. How can I make better, safer, healthier and more protective choices?”

I am working on these challenges. I hope you are too.

____________________________


“There’s no better measure of what people are then what they do when they are totally free to choose.”

William Belger

Bye For Now,
Bill
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SLOWLY BUT SURELY

I’ve heard these words a few times in the past few weeks. One was in the context of completing college, another in opening a small business and a third regarding getting back into shape.

It is really a phrase of strength .Very few worthwhile accomplishments happen quickly. No matter how far you went in school, it wasn’t fast unless you dropped out in third grade.

Life takes time. This is not so easy for us to deal with in our accelerated “red bull” world. The “we want it now or yesterday” model, strengthened by technology, fails almost all of the time. Buying stocks or houses during the frenzy led mostly to a short term mania and a longer term depression.

It is the “surely” that is the key word in that phrase. Steady Eddy trumps uneven Steven every time.

Slowly, but surely we shall recover from these challenging times. It is equivalent to the “a day at a time” motto for AA/NA members and their families. Recovering form anything –the flu, financial setbacks, addictions, surgery—is neither magical nor instantaneous. Slowly, but surely we get back on our feet and move steadily forward.


Bye For Now,

Bill


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