Think About It!

Albert Einstein, in, “The World As I see It,” said,

The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and sense in which he has attained liberation from the self.

This seems as obtuse as E= MC squared. It’s kind of like an inkblot. I will share what I think he meant in a future blog. Most importantly, what do you think he was trying to convey?

Think about it. Your interpretations and thoughts are always welcome on this blog.

Bye for now,

Bill

www.williampenzer.com
954-475-1371 X 301
561-361-1891 X 301
see 3/17 welcome to know our goals

Raising Children in a Recession #2

Last post, I began to discuss how a hardship can inspire resilience. Resilience is born from persistent struggle in the face of hardship. Our children can be inspired by our courageous struggles to achieve our goals.

A resilient spirt is also a problem-solver, sorting through many possible solutions before choosing the perfect remedy for a given situation. Similarly, we want our children to develop their problem-solving capacities.

If our children can delay gratification of their desires, our children can create many possible resolutions to a given dilemna, ulitmately choosing only the best fitting solution.

I will continue to discuss instilling a resilient spirit in our children next time.

We Get It Too

Before his first joint session of Congress, President Obama said,” I get it.” In those three words he was acknowledging his understanding of the seriousness of the problems we face as individuals, as businesses, as a nation and as a world.

As someone promoting a positive outlook, I never want to be accused of being indifferent to those who have been hit hard. We too “get it” and understand the scope of the problems. We know that some people have lost everything, are living in their cars or have gone from a lovely warm and spacious home to a cramped hotel room. We know that people who paid their rent diligently, were evicted because their landlords were foreclosed.

We know what it feels like to be unemployed. I nearly lost my mind when I was in “72 ( read “Getting Back Up From An Emotional Down” by William Penzer, Ph.D.) Surely, we are aware of people who have killed themselves or loved ones in a misguided effort to escape. We know some of these people. Just ask the family members whose loved one took their lives. No amount of money and no amount of hardship can justify that action. We, at this blog, are on the front lines every day. I assure that we get it. That is precisely why this blog was born.

We fully realize that for some our words don’t work all that well. It is darn hard to focus on the positive when one’s life is falling apart. All the more reason to as positive beliefs can serve as a life raft amid a turbulent sea.

Hold on tight to whatever keeps you afloat. The sign in my office reads, Never, Never, Never Give Up!. I sincerely hope you never do.

Our voice is here to say don’t ever give up as life, even life under duress and difficulty, is precious. Our words scream out for survival strategies, patience and hopefulness. We are trying our best to emotionally support a sagging population due to a sagging economy across the world.
Please know that we hate to see people hurting in anyway. Our careers have been devoted to shielding and limiting people’s pain via words. Know as well that words can be inflammatory or salving. Ours are directed toward the latter. We may encourage a picnic now and then but know that for many families life is no picnic.

Words do work and are quite powerful. Words programmed us and can again in new directions. If words didn’t work I would have found a different occupation. All research shows that optimism contributes significantly to positive outcomes. Self-fulfilling prophecies are just that.

Chose an uplifting prophesy and allow it to fulfill itself and you and your family as well. Even if you are as low as you have ever been, realize that up is the only place you can go. Hold on, hang on until you can get beyond this moment. I am optimistic that you can.

Bye for now,
Bill

www.williampenzer.com
954-475-1371 X 301
561-361-1891 X 301
see 3/17 blog to know our goals

The Survivors Need to Be Us!

The funeral I went to yesterday was for a friend’s 91 year old father, Mike. As we drove there I said, “ I’m sure it will be a small gathering.”

When we arrived the chapel was filled with people in their late 70’s+. I quipped it was more people than would be at mine. I was surprised, but understood as the eulogy evolved.

Mike was a survivor of the Holocaust as is his wife. They were part of a large social group of survivors who meet once a month. The woman who spoke broken, but eloquent English at the service said, “ We lost our families in the war so we created a group who could be our extended family.” I couldn’t help but think about people losing their families relative to people losing money. Back then these people who lost family were 10, 15, or 20 years old. There is an undeniable difference between the losses, though both definitely hurt.

The women who spoke at the service summed up the nature of and reason for a support group. This is precisely why we have created them and have encouraged other mental health professionals to do the same. Trauma responds to support. It helps us to know others walk in our shoes. We learn from others who are learning too. Survival is a skill worth knowing.

Reports vary as to why survivors of the Holocaust made it. Some will say it was pure luck. Others say they made it out from that hell because they never lost hope, maintained optimism, watched their backs and helped others do the same. They were able to see an end to their nightmare. We want you to do the same. Nothing fuels recovery like patience, perseverance, positivism—and watching your back.

God bless Mike, his loving family and his support group for all these years. They all deserve that much and more. So do we all! We are all survivors of something, even if it is just the challenges of life!


Bye For Now,

williampenzer.com

954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x301

see 3/17/09 blog to know our goals and pass it on



Bill

Emotional Healing

I went to a funeral today. The clergyman said that cuts in our skin cause a scab to form which ultimately makes the skin stronger. He wanted us to see emotional wounds similarly.

I didn’t fully agree. Emotional scabs have a way of making us weaker. We cover over the pain and ultimately it comes back to haunt us. Our bodies and our mind, share similarities but work on different principles. To deal with the economic cuts we have encountered we need to do more than just wait for a scab to form.

For our minds to be stronger requires more than a scab. Body scabs leave a scar that fades. Emotional scabs leave scars that bleed invisibly for long periods of time.

Emotional healing requires an active “working on it” process. Those who do that, as in therapy, counseling, coaching, support groups, workshops, reading, etc. know just how hard they have to work their program. Bodies heal naturally. Minds heal by people committing to a process.

There is, however, nothing wrong with hard work, especially on yourself. Just don’t assume time, wealth or scabs will heal your emotional wounds. The best investment and the highest dividend yields occur when you work on you. That has been both my personal and professional experience. Sadly, there is no band aid or antibacterial ointment for your mind. There is, however, help, hope and personal growth. The latter beats a scab any day.


Bye For Now,

Bill

williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x301
561 361 1898 x301

see 3/17/09 blog to know our goals

The Dow and The Tao

I’m sure you all learned and remember what a homonym is from your English classes in grade school. NOT! Don’t feel bad. Neither did I. I missed that class along with grammar, punctuation, spelling, penmanship and geography. Not too swift with math either.

A homonym, according my wife (who went to all the classes I missed) and to Funk and Wagnall’s is, “a word identical with another in pronunciation, but differing from it in origin, spelling and meaning.” (p 308)

Isn’t it interesting and amusing that the Dow and the Tao are homonyms as Tao is pronounced dau. Could any two words be more different from one another than these? The Tao is a religion and philosophy founded by Lao Tsu in China 2500 years ago. I wonder what he would feel about the new China? It is amazing how his comments which follow are so appropriate today.

There’s not much good news to quote from the Dow these days (though it is getting a little better), but so much from the Tao. Here is a sampling:

Better stop short than fill to the brim.
Oversharpen the blade and the edge will soon blunt.
Amass a store of gold and jade and no one can protect it.
Claim wealth and titles and disaster will follow.
………………………

Accept disgrace willingly.
Accept misfortune as the human condition.
Accept being unimportant.
Do not be concerned with loss or gain.
……………………...

That which shrinks must first expand.
That which fails must first be strong.
That which is cast down must first be raised.
……………………...


We would love to hear if/how these apply to your situation.

Bye For Now,
Bill
williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x 301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

Raising Children in a Recession

Real families experience normal, daily stress that a recession can intensify. Not that long ago, I was a single parent who drove an old car that consumed too much money in repairs every month. Frequently, it was difficult to focus on parenting. Economic survival, rather than parenting, threatened to dominate my thoughts. Eventually, I returned to school, graduated, and recently reviewed the research on the relationship between economic loss and parenting. The research concluded that a recession does not necessarily impair parenting skills, but economic losses are associated with reduced discretionary spending, on expensive toys, vacations, and private schools.

Children may challenge such decisions, stimulating parental reactions of inadequacy, frustration, and defensiveness. Similarly, anxiety and depression concerning economic loss can distract parents from focusing on child rearing. The research further suggests that, if spouses are similarly stressed, more regular support from friendships or a professional can bolster parenting skills by improving the parent’s capacity to focus on childrearing.

Remarkably, emotional support was regarded as more beneficial than free groceries or child care. At times, my adult son has reminded me of our lean times by reflecting upon our progress. I reacted defensively until I realized that he had recalled his own resilient spirit. Our children may whine for expensive toys, while we promote their frustration tolerance and creativity by attending to their emotional needs, rather than their whims.

Childrearing in a recession requires the pursuit of a vision of the future without the immediate gratification provided by child approval or the economic guarantees typically provided by society. However, by prioritizing and adhering to our goals, we actualize our dreams. A resilient spirit is priceless, or so many children may realize by following their parents’ example.

Dr. Marilyn Katell

March Madness

Usually, March Madness in the US refers to the collegiate basketball games played obsessively. These determine the rankings, future coach salaries, alumni contributions and pro deals and endorsements. It is where college sports meets big business. This year March Madness takes on a whole new dimension.

March Madness refers to:
• The Bernie Madoff (his BM initials seem appropriate) hatred. Even being sentenced to jail for 150 years is not sufficient punishment to those he royally, you know what.

• Other Ponzi people who took less than BM, but still took.

• The CEO of AIG who gave his PIGs over $200 million as a reward for their failing 180 billion times.

• Our ever popular President who is looking at an almost 10 trillion or more deficit for which my grandkids and yours will be liable-not to mention that he didn’t quite get rid of the pork. Maybe March should be known as a pigfest.

• A former President and his ship of fools co-leaders who bushwacked us and became their own WMD.

• A host of seemingly brilliant financial leaders who now appear to have been--you fill in the blank__________.

In this context March Madness has multiple meanings. Many are mad because people they trusted lost their minds and went mad.

The challenge to us everyday folk and the reason for this blog is that we can’t afford to go mad, despite being quite mad. We, as captains of our ships, need to maintain our wits when those about us have already lost theirs. Being mad is very different from going mad. Not just in March, but always and forever. To me, it is a slam dunk!

Bye For Now,

Bill
williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

15 1/2 Relaxing/Fun Things You Can Do for Free

• Take a bath by candlelight with or without bubbles.
• Invite your partner or special person to join you ( a good way to clean up your act!).
• Walk in the park or on the beach or just sit on a bench there. Perhaps meet a special person.
• Listen to relaxing music in the bath, on the bench or while walking or while you eat dinner or do the dishes or anytime.
• Watch an old movie on TV.
• Look through albums, pictures or family videos and remember the good old happy days and believe that they will return.
• Dance with your beloved in your living room or any room as if you were teens.
• Write a response (please be kind) to one of our blogs and press submit.
• Do relaxation, meditation, guided imagery, yoga, tai chi or whatever you are comfortable doing to de-stress.
• Spend 5-10 minutes a day remembering happier times and envisioning a healthy, positive future.
• Feel grateful for all you still have despite whatever you have lost.
• Make a list of what is really, really important to you and go for it.
• Go to a free support group…even if it isn’t for a problem you have.
• Get in touch with what made your “inner child/teen” happy. Blow bubbles, skip, shoot hoops, listen to your generation’s music, read a comic or whatever.
• Go to a bookstore or library and read fun stuff for free.
• Think of other things that can work and send your ideas to us. ( This is the 1/2!)

“ HAPPINESS WALKS ON BUSY FEET”
Kitle Turmell

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

On Markets and Such

“To market, to market to buy a fat pig….” is a nursery rhyme many of us heard as children. Little did we know then that pigs could be fat or lean, depending on the market and the timing of the visit. Little did we know that we could be the pig. Nursery rhymes can be tricky and subtle. Great that we don’t know that as children or we might not say, “Tell it again, Daddy.”

As it applies to financial markets, we often speak of them as if they were entities unto themselves. Statements such as, “The market anticipated…” or “The market didn’t realize…” create the impression and illusion of a market with a brain. We easily forget that markets are brain dead and that PEOPLE make a market, some of whom may very well be brain dead as well.

When the market went up 379 points on March 10, 2009 because Citigroup showed a two month profit, it reflected that people caused the markets to rally based on the good news. Any sign of life in a financial institution is cause for celebration these days.

The same is true psychologically. Positive thoughts, feelings or actions beget emotional rallies for the people striving to be positive. It makes them feel better. It focuses them on the parts of their lives that are working well, despite their financial hardships. It separates money issues from other issues.

Seeking out and staying in positive, optimistic and comfortable space may not always be easy, but it is always worth the effort. Though money is undeniably important, there is much more to us, as people, than money. Health trumps wealth every time!

Consider the last line of the rhyme, “Home again, home again, market is done.” Isn’t that interesting? Is it time for you to finally come home and value that which is closest and most sacred? You bet your fat pig it is!!!

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x301
561 361 1898 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

Lost and Found

Yesterday, I said, “Amazing how much we can learn when we have lost something of value to us.”

What have you found out about yourself amid your financial losses? Hopefully, you have identified some qualities that are pride-worthy, like optimism, resilience and determination. If not, you can strive toward these characteristics. They are attainable.

What have you found changing among your values, attitudes and priorities? Have you found it within yourself to embrace a less is more set of beliefs? If not, can you strive toward those, like a Buddhist who strives toward staying in the moment and accepting life as it comes instead of how s/he wants it to be?

Finally, can you find value in that which has no material, but much emotional value? Now is the time for us to strive to separate emotional wheat from material chaff. Life is all about striving. That is why people visit my colleagues and I -- to strive toward growth. Striving leads us away from the pain, worry and sadness of the strife of our lives. Striving is positive. Standing still or drifting backward are not.



Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x301
561 361 1898 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

On Yellow Pads and Such

A funny thing happened on the way to my blog. I spent the weekend writing bits and pieces on a yellow pad. I assembled it together, put it in a file folder and brought it to my office to give to my typist. It disappeared and a week+ later it is still missing. It is an aging thing, I am afraid.

In a make lemonade way, it taught me some lessons. Blogging is 21st century, yellow pads went out in the 90’s. Blogging, like the computer, is spontaneous -- an in the moment creation. Yellow pad writing is edited, while blogs are top of the head, from your gut stuff where spelling and punctuation count much less than meaning. (Please don’t tell all my past English teachers I said that!) Blogs fly, pads get lost! We all need to fly above the crisis to see how and what we can get out of it for ourselves.

Yet another lesson was that I can be wordy on pads. I need to be crisp on blogs. Who has the time or patience to read a dissertation these days? I will keep working on that. The next one will be even shorter.

One more lesson. People who like to write see each word as a diamond. To lose pages of one’s writings can feel like you lost your best friend, or worse your alter ego. It’s certainly not the same as financial losses, but it is a loss, none-the-less. Isn’t it time for all of us to get off our inflated ego alter and build one that endures, even during the crunch times. I can recreate words just like people can recreate themselves…if they/I really want to. Amazing how much we can learn when we have lost something of value to us!

That is what this blog is all about. Dwelling on the negative gets us nowhere. Learning from that gets us out of there! Of interest, since starting to write these blogs I have been happier and more positive. Try it, you’ll like it!

My staff and I have so much more to say. Sign on and be part of a group of people determined to remain steadfast and determined. People who will look for and find silver linings amid the wrinkles of our tattered fabrics. People who may flinch, but won’t buckle or cave in. People who know that from adversity comes triumph for those who stay the course. People who follow Danny Boyle, of “Slumdog” fame, who quotes Plato in a Time Magazine interview, “BE KIND, FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A HARD BATTLE.” Guess they had a subprime mortgage mess back in ancient Greece as well or maybe, just maybe, that is the nature of life. I think that is the case.

Tell your family and friends about our blog today. Come back tomorrow. It is time for positive news!! We promise a new idea or thought every business day.

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x301

see blog on 3/17/09 to know our goals

Welcome To Our Emotional Support Blog

When there is a national disaster like a hurricane, serial shooting or terrorist attack, mental health professionals of all types rush to provide immediate assistance and support.

When Susan the administrator is losing her home, Ted the auto worker has lost his job and Joe the plumber’s portfolio is in the toilet at the same time Ellen’s struggle as a single Mom of three just became harder, we need to reach out and help.

This blog is one such an attempt. It was my son Mike’s idea. We hope to provide a net of support tools that can help you cope and lessons on how to meet this challenge head on. We are also offering free support groups by the same name as this blog, in Plantation and Boca Raton, FL. We hope other mental health professionals will pick up the ball in their communities. We will list those locations across the country as long as the groups are totally without charge.

Now, we feel, is the time to come to the aid of others struggling with serious economic pressures today and with an uncertain future. Though we know very little about the economy, we know much about emotions, the human mind, and most importantly, how to help people cope with stressful times.

We want to help you avoid falling into self-defeating traps -- depression, anxiety, panic, addictions, gambling, overeating -- and all the other hurtful stuff that stress can provoke and promote. Human nature is strange in that we can fall into a hole, and instead of reaching for a rope to climb out, we can easily dig ourselves deeper. We want to help you not reach for a shovel when there are so many better tools available.

We promise we will not blow smoke in your direction. We aim to light a fire in your belly that will help propel you to move forward. That is why we call our philosophy realistic optimism for our times.

Though tempting, this is not a time to sit back, stare into space and feel sorry for yourself. This is a time to be proactive, creative and adaptive. This is a time to mobilize the CEO of Your SELF (more about this in future blogs) and take charge of your personal corporation. You need to prevent yourself from being down because your finances are. They may be like that for a while. You cannot afford to be there for very long.

This is neither a time to celebrate, nor to commiserate. It is a time to be courageous. “I CAN DO THIS!” needs to be the tee shirt you invisibly wear everyday beneath your clothes like Superman and Wonder Woman do. You can be a superhero, too, in your own way.

Finally, our brush stroke will be broad, but our focus will be narrow. What I mean is that we will be as relevant to the hourly paid worker as to the wealthy or to those who formerly fit into those categories and to all those in between. The fixed focus will be survival of the fittest and our strong desire to contribute to your fitness. We will find other specialists -- lawyers, accountants, financial planners, etc. who can help as well.

We hope you will return as our goal is an update each business day. We hope you will let us know how you feel about what we are doing and offer your own ideas as well. We hope you will tell family, friends and co-workers who might benefit from this support as well as about our support groups, if you are local. Wherever you may live, we hope you will encourage your counselor, therapist or life coach to follow suit. We hold no patent on supporting people during tough times. Together we can make a difference. We Really Can!

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x 301