From Trauma to Drama

From Trauma to Drama

“My life is a mess, I don’t know what else to do. Sleep is nonexistent, and if I do get to sleep I don’t stay asleep or have awful nightmares.”

“Everything irritates me, and my wife says I’m always blowing up about nothing.”

“I can’t concentrate, not even to read, and I don’t feel like doing the things that I used to love to do.”

“I just feel detached, even from my husband and kids.”

“I begin everyday just feeling unsettled, anxious, and unhappy.”

These are just a few of the complaints I’ve heard over the past few weeks. They used to be from those with depression and anxiety from physical, psychological or sexual abuse, or what we all identify as trauma; like rape, attack, combat experiences, or auto and plane accidents. These individuals may have been diagnosed with PTSD.

Today I’m hearing this litany of misery from many struggling with the results of the current economy. A job is lost with little expectation of finding another anytime soon, or a senior, ready to retire and finally relax has watched his retirement diminish significantly, or disappear. Sometimes it’s a spouse who hasn’t worked in years, accustomed to financial security but who now finds herself the primary breadwinner, working a minimum wage position just to buy groceries and pay a few bills. The trauma of the declining market has resulted in a life of emotional turmoil, confusion and often unexpected drama.

This kind of upheaval can trigger symptoms of PTSD, long believed to have been resolved. The old sense of helplessness, powerlessness, anger, detachment, and lack of ability to experience loving feelings feels overwhelming and people feel worse than they think they should.

The “drama” can manifest as angry outbursts, fits of crying and depression, anxiety or panic attacks, emotional shutdown and withdrawal, marital conflict, or even alcohol, substance abuse or over use of prescription medications. On the internet and news we hear the violent extremes to which some are pushed as their lives unravel.

No doubt the trauma is real but the drama can be eliminated. With help, you can learn to cope effectively with the realities of our economy. Support groups like the one offered on this website can provide not only a source of helpful information but a sense of “I’m not in this alone.” An efficient and rapidly effective psychotherapy called EMDR can reduce the emotional intensity driving the drama in your life and allow you to think more clearly about the steps you need to take to survive our economic challenges. None of us are in this alone and help is available.

Marcia S. Seeberg, MS, LMHC

www.marciaseeberg.com

Raising Children in a Recession

Real families experience normal, daily stress that a recession can intensify. Not that long ago, I was a single parent who drove an old car that consumed too much money in repairs every month. Frequently, it was difficult to focus on parenting. Economic survival, rather than parenting, threatened to dominate my thoughts. Eventually, I returned to school, graduated, and recently reviewed the research on the relationship between economic loss and parenting. The research concluded that a recession does not necessarily impair parenting skills, but economic losses are associated with reduced discretionary spending, on expensive toys, vacations, and private schools.

Children may challenge such decisions, stimulating parental reactions of inadequacy, frustration, and defensiveness. Similarly, anxiety and depression concerning economic loss can distract parents from focusing on child rearing. The research further suggests that, if spouses are similarly stressed, more regular support from friendships or a professional can bolster parenting skills by improving the parent’s capacity to focus on childrearing.

Remarkably, emotional support was regarded as more beneficial than free groceries or child care. At times, my adult son has reminded me of our lean times by reflecting upon our progress. I reacted defensively until I realized that he had recalled his own resilient spirit. Our children may whine for expensive toys, while we promote their frustration tolerance and creativity by attending to their emotional needs, rather than their whims.

Childrearing in a recession requires the pursuit of a vision of the future without the immediate gratification provided by child approval or the economic guarantees typically provided by society. However, by prioritizing and adhering to our goals, we actualize our dreams. A resilient spirit is priceless, or so many children may realize by following their parents’ example.

Dr. Marilyn Katell

Welcome To Our Emotional Support Blog

When there is a national disaster like a hurricane, serial shooting or terrorist attack, mental health professionals of all types rush to provide immediate assistance and support.

When Susan the administrator is losing her home, Ted the auto worker has lost his job and Joe the plumber’s portfolio is in the toilet at the same time Ellen’s struggle as a single Mom of three just became harder, we need to reach out and help.

This blog is one such an attempt. It was my son Mike’s idea. We hope to provide a net of support tools that can help you cope and lessons on how to meet this challenge head on. We are also offering free support groups by the same name as this blog, in Plantation and Boca Raton, FL. We hope other mental health professionals will pick up the ball in their communities. We will list those locations across the country as long as the groups are totally without charge.

Now, we feel, is the time to come to the aid of others struggling with serious economic pressures today and with an uncertain future. Though we know very little about the economy, we know much about emotions, the human mind, and most importantly, how to help people cope with stressful times.

We want to help you avoid falling into self-defeating traps -- depression, anxiety, panic, addictions, gambling, overeating -- and all the other hurtful stuff that stress can provoke and promote. Human nature is strange in that we can fall into a hole, and instead of reaching for a rope to climb out, we can easily dig ourselves deeper. We want to help you not reach for a shovel when there are so many better tools available.

We promise we will not blow smoke in your direction. We aim to light a fire in your belly that will help propel you to move forward. That is why we call our philosophy realistic optimism for our times.

Though tempting, this is not a time to sit back, stare into space and feel sorry for yourself. This is a time to be proactive, creative and adaptive. This is a time to mobilize the CEO of Your SELF (more about this in future blogs) and take charge of your personal corporation. You need to prevent yourself from being down because your finances are. They may be like that for a while. You cannot afford to be there for very long.

This is neither a time to celebrate, nor to commiserate. It is a time to be courageous. “I CAN DO THIS!” needs to be the tee shirt you invisibly wear everyday beneath your clothes like Superman and Wonder Woman do. You can be a superhero, too, in your own way.

Finally, our brush stroke will be broad, but our focus will be narrow. What I mean is that we will be as relevant to the hourly paid worker as to the wealthy or to those who formerly fit into those categories and to all those in between. The fixed focus will be survival of the fittest and our strong desire to contribute to your fitness. We will find other specialists -- lawyers, accountants, financial planners, etc. who can help as well.

We hope you will return as our goal is an update each business day. We hope you will let us know how you feel about what we are doing and offer your own ideas as well. We hope you will tell family, friends and co-workers who might benefit from this support as well as about our support groups, if you are local. Wherever you may live, we hope you will encourage your counselor, therapist or life coach to follow suit. We hold no patent on supporting people during tough times. Together we can make a difference. We Really Can!

Bye For Now,

Bill
www.williampenzer.com
954 475 1371 x 301
561 361 1898 x 301